Special High Intensity Training

Special High Intensity Training Subject: Special High Intensity Training Never let it be said that York University neglects its personnel. In order to insure the highest levels of quality work and maximum productivity from our employees, it will be the policy of the University to keep employees well-trained through out programme of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are attempting to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. Your name will immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in a Departmental Employee Evaluation Programme (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will be required to attend Employee Attitude Training(E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore. Alternatively, they may subsequently be required to receive Higher or Recurrent Semi-Empirical Special High Intensity Training (H.O.R.S.E.S.H.I.T.). If you are already full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in the job training of others. Your name can be added to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and may submit an application for the position of Director in Perpetuity(D.I.P.S.H.I.T.). If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.). Thank you, Boss in General Special High Intensity Training (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)