Why Mircrosoft has this question

For convenience I'm calling the pirates #1,#2,..,#5 I am assuming an extra rule: If a pirate knows that #n+1's plan will give him the same number of coins as #n's plan, he will kill #n and take #n+1's plan. Then #1 should propose either of the following plans: #1 gets 97 coins, #3 get 1 coin and #4 gets 2 coins -or- #1 gets 97 coins, #3 gets 1 coin and #5 gets 2 coins

寶石題 係咪： 1要1顆 3-5各要33顆

#1 pirate takes 34. #2 and #3 take 33 each and #4 and #5 take 0.

n/t I would come up with answers similar to Robinson's. But I think this question is not well-defined. Say can the pirates make deals? And will they keep their promise? The outcome can be different. But the most misleading point is that those who can answer this question can make avg. 80K. Don't trust this kinda . Don't think you can get 80K if you know he answer. And yes, M$ interviews are very hard. But that's another story for another time.

可唔可以解解呀？ Robinson ： // Then #1 should propose either of the following plans: #1 gets 97 coins, #3 get 1 coin and #4 gets 2 coins -or- #1 gets 97 coins, #3 gets 1 coin and #5 gets 2 coins // ================ 好深呀 ~ ！ 十三點好驚 d 數架，唔係講笑架 ！ Robinson 呀，唔該你可唔可以用非常十三分簡單 ge 方法講俾我聽呀？春田花花幼兒園 nursery 班唔收我， TESTING 又唔理人地個心，重問我係唔係佢個 1A 班數學堂o既同學仔添呀！笑我呀 ~ ！ ================= 教下我好唔好 ah ？ 唔該哂你先，阿 Robinson ！

95, 0, 0, 3, 2 [A] Suppose only #4 & #5 remain there, #4 must give all the gems to #5. Otherwise #5 will Vote No and #4 have to die. So the outcome would be #5 get 100 and #4 get nothing (more probably they'll fight, or #4 kills #5 later while he's unaware, or split 50/50 if they're friends) [B] Suppose only #3, #4 and #5 remain there, #3 would propose "#3 gets 99 and #4 gets 1" At that time, #3 is confident that #4 would vote Yes since for #4, 1 gem is better than the 0 in [A]. In this case #3's proposal win since there are at least 2 votes for Yes out of 3 people. (more probably #4 & #5 will kill #3 together and then go to [A] since they are pirates , it's better to assume #3 is stronger than #4+#5) [C] Suppose #2#3#4#5 remain there, #2 would propose "#2 gets 97, #4 get 2 & #5 get 1" because #2 know that #4#5 are better off this way compared to [B]. In this case, #2's proposal wins because at least 3 out of 4 people vote Yes. [D] Suppose it's the beginning, #1 would take into consideration the above information and would propose "#1 get 95 gems, #4 get 3, #5 get 2" #1 knows #4#5 would support him since they are better off this way compared to [C]. #1's proposal wins as there are at least 3 votes Yes out of 5 people. #1 would probably get the 95 coins and then give some back to #2-4 immediately to avoid being killed or robbed later

年薪…… 前提或聯想： A.5人平分，每人有20顆 B.4人平分，每人有25顆 C.3人平分，每人有33顆，另餘一顆(即無法平分) D.聰明的1號海盜必不會想自己死 解答 [1].如2號死了，便會由3號分，則4或5有一人同意便可。 [2].若4號,或5號反對，則3號會死。之後便不能按照此法分配，而很可能會混亂，聰明的海盜們不會冒這個險。 [3].因[1]及[2]，當3號分配時，大家必定會同意。 [4]由於[3]，2號會分給3號較多的鑽石以收買他。即多於25顆。 [5]但2號仍須4號或5號其中一人同意，因此他又會分給4號或5號較多的鑽石。即多於25顆。 [6]由於2號已得3人的同意，因此他可從4號或5號中剝削，從而使自己成為分得最多鑽石。 [7]由於[4]､[5]､[6]，實質上只有三人去分，被剝削者可能只得一顆。 [8]因此4號，5號都不希望2號來分。 [9]1號捉住這心理，分給4號，5號略多的鑽石，他們便會同意。

等等 有點問題，容我稍後補充

修正完畢 A.5人平分，每人有20顆 B.4人平分，每人有25顆 C.3人平分，每人有33顆，另餘一顆(即無法平分) D.聰明的1號海盜必不會想自己死 [1].如2號死了，便會由3號分，則4或5有一人同意便可。 [2].若4號,或5號反對，則3號會死。之後便不能按照此法分配，而很可能會混亂，聰明的海盜們不會冒這個險。 [3].因[1]及[2]，當3號分配時，大家必定會同意。 [4]由於[3]，2號會分給其中兩人較多的寶石以收買他們，即多於25顆。換言之，剩下不足50顆給他給另一人分。 [5]由於[3]，4號和5號都不會想3號來分。 [6]由於2號可能會由3號､4號､5號中剝削，故3號，4號，5號都不希望2號來分。 [7]4號，5號是最被動的。他們必定知道自己可能會被剝削。 [8]1號捉住這心理，分給4號，5號略多的鑽石，他們便會同意。 [9]由於要使自己有最大利益，同時又要使4,5同意 則1號會有50顆，4號,5號各得25顆。 (不可能分給他們1或2顆，因為自己搶都搶得到) 2號，3號無權反對。哈哈！

嘩.好難咁喎 我又整個wild guess啦 要過半數既.... 咁啦,亞1可以話將100粒分3份,包括分比自己,比亞2同亞3,咁對亞2同3有so嘛,咁無左4同5(2個人)分得都多好多啦,仲有呀,亞1比人out走左亞2同3個勢都好危啦,esp亞2呀。只要1.2.3贊成,過半數,亞4同5反對都無用lu,如果唔係點都係亞4同5對分ka啦。

實際情況 只剩下兩人的話，4號即使全給5號，他還是可以「不同意」而把4號丟下海！(然後再拿走所有金幣) 所以剩下兩人時必會混亂。

隨機過程 //(more probably #4 & #5 will kill #3 together and then go to [A] since they are pirates , it's better to assume #3 is stronger than #4+#5) // 抽籤是隨機的，而且抽完又不會變得強壯些。

如果20mins之內估中有無prize? 第日年薪會唔會有8萬以上呢???? 幾時開估呀???

呢個係假設情況lor 如果大家(4同5)有同樣榷力既,唔平均分佢地是但一方都唔肯分,可唔可以唔假設佢地係會用武力解決呀,咁唔使估啦。況且而家人地氣question係問亞1會點做lor,跟本唔使唸亞2,3,3,4,5各自作主時可以點。唔好簡單複雜化啦,仲要計probability???

The answer If only #4 and #5 remain the share is 0 , 100 otherwise #5 will vote No and #4 will die and #5 will still knget 100. If #3, #4, #5 remain the share is 99 , 1 , 0. Since #4 knows if #3 die he must share 0, 100 to #5. So even if he gets 1 , he will be happy. If #2 #3 #4 #5 remain the share should be 97 ,0 2, 1. Since #4 and #5 will get more than above if the decision is made by #3 and therefore they will vote Yes. If 5 persons exist #1 should share 97, 0, 1 , 0, 2 since #3 and #5 will get more than the above if the decision is made by #2.Therefore #1 #3 #5 will vote yes.

雙兒，我係根題目指示ja //條件：每個海盜都是很聰明的人，都能很理智的判斷得失，從而做出選擇。 // 換左你係亞4，你仲會唔會跟規則o黎玩？亞5唔同意你會唔會跳海？ 鑽可誠可貴，生命價更高呀！ 我再再修正我答案： 如果係我就會咁分jei，但其實1號再攞多d都得，唔…… 我諗4號，5號各會得到接近10粒啦。否則，你分果一､兩粒俾佢地wor，佢搶都搶得到啦。 微軟唔會要d唔諗實際情況o既人掛^^"

Wild Guess 34, 0, 0, 33, 33

Why Mircrosoft has this question This question is not set for testing the logical thinking ability of the candidate. It is used to test whether the candidate has the concept of backward accounting.Backward Accounting is a very important phylosophy in the commercial world. A CEO of a listed company will work out the budget profits for the coming financial year, his subordinates (senior executves) will then have to work backward to come out with the budget sales and expenses figures for each division /department. Similarly, the department managers will work out the sales target for each salesman to achieve the budget. It is not unusual that some will have to make up fake transactions(like Enron, Worldcom) in order to achieve the budget profits ,if the profits is unrealistic. This is why this backward accounting phylosophy is so important and every executive (with salary over $80,000) must handle it well. Any candidate who wants an executive post must therefore be able to answer this question. The commercial world is obviously very different than the university world that most of you are enjoying. Once you join my path, you might have to put aside the logic concept that you apply in the perfect world.

George's answer is THE answer but he won't be paid.

推理題 我本來仲想問這是一條數理推理題還是常理推理題,現在不用了,多謝A qualified accountant的解釋 Bill Gates自己吾係CEO來的,是不是?

答案 超過半數的人同意時便可通過及唔使死： (假設每人既目的係分得最多石,同盡量另其他人死)得一半人同意都要死 如果得番4,5 咁,4 無論點分都要死 所以4 一定會支持3 所講既野 所以3 一定會話自己要晒100 粒 因為1 死左, 2 講咩都唔夠過半數支持 所以1 講咩2 都會支持 1比一粒4就夠三個人支持...... 因此1 可以得99 粒,2 得0粒可以保命, 4可以得1粒,3得0粒及5得0粒反對都無用。

路人乙 >>因為1 死左, 2 講咩都唔夠過半數支持 This is not true...if 2 proposed 98,0,1,1 he'll get 3 votes (1 from himself and 1 each from 4 and 5) because if 2 gets killed then for sure 3 will propose 100,0,0 which 4 must vote for because otherwise he's going to die. 十三點 My reasoning is similar to George's...except that I think that when 3,4 and 5 reamains the proposal would be 100,0,0 instead of 99,1,0 (reason given above). If you do the same kind of reasoning which George did you will find that both 97,0,1,2,0 and 97,0,1,0,2 will work. Of course if violence is allowed then the whole thing will become unpredictable.

分石 路人乙呀，你千祈千祈唔好開估住呀，我認真架！！ 我已經諗左個答案架 la 。但係我好唔掂呀！野又未做完，行李又未執，真真係手又忙，腳又亂咁話 ah ！ 我盡趕啦，你一定要等埋我個 simple mind 諗o既答案架，好唔好？ =================== 我既答案同 Benson 既一樣，不過就唔知諗既解釋同唔同。 =================== Benson 話 ： // #1 pirate takes 34. #2 and #3 take 33 each and #4 and #5 take 0. // ================== 路人乙，你要等我個喎，唔好唔記得 wo 。 如果唔係，十三點個聖誕就會唔係 100% 快樂 ga lah ！靠你架 lah ！

A qualified accountant A qualified accountant有標準答案......我晨早表態唔同意標準答案的。 我的答案並不"標準"無大意義。

哼！路人乙 人地都未講完，你就咁講，好傷呀！ 況且 A qualified accountant 只係講左後面個 d ，都冇講前面個「得」！

A qualified accountant都冇公開佢0既答案喎。 再者，我唔同意標準答案的。

分石 (II) 拿，就係咁o勒！ 唔理阿 (1) 講乜，(2) – (5) 都反對。所以呢，阿 (1) 就第一個遭殃o勒！ 唔理阿 (2) 講乜，(3) – (5) 都反對。所以呢，阿 (2) 又死埋 loh 播！ 唔理阿 (3) 講乜，(4) – (5) 都反對。所以呢，阿 (3) 都走唔 lut 啦！ 所以最著數就係 (4) 同 (5) 啦，當然！ 佢地可能為左獨吞 100粒石，就會你爭我奪。 但係咁，問題有可能係你死，但亦都有可能係我亡個播！ 所以呢，到頭來對佢地兩個自己最好o既方法，就係握手言和勒！ 即係話，每人有 50粒。 ================= 係咁架 la！一命二運三風水呀 mah，邊個叫你要抽到行先播！ 呢個故事教訓我地，o米以為行頭，就唔會敗家喎！ ============= 之不過咁，如果你係 (1) ， (2) 同 (3) ，你會唔會咁蠢 jeh？ 所以話呢，天機算盡太聰明，反而害左 (4) 、 (5) ！ 於是呢， 對 (1) 、 (2) 、 (3) 黎講，最好o既辦法就係夾埋，咁就會唔聲唔聲咁 out 左 (4) 同 (5) ，少左果兩個 頂心杉o勒！ =================== (1) 、 (2) 、 (3) 一定要合作o架！商場如戰場，一唔小心，就會俾對手食左架勒！ 嚮呢種情況，又做唔到獨食 (monopoly) 個條件。而且獨食又難肥 ， 因為佢好難做到絕對既 price discrimination ， o羅o西自己既最大著數！而且好似「微弱」咁，會招妒個播！會俾政府「差」架！ 而家(1) 、 (2) 、 (3) 就好似 oligopoly 咁勒，重可以玩下 cartel 添 woh 。 大家無言咁聯盟黎到限制競爭 ， 於是就可以增加利潤 ，重一早就趕走左 (4) 同 (5) 呢兩個競爭對手添！至於以後情會唔會變就以後先至算，最緊要掂而家個情況 ah mah ！ ============== 咁究竟應該點分 d 石好呢？ 我諗平分就最公平架勒，又可以費事佢地三個妒忌！ 重有一粒呢？點搞呀？ 最好梗係俾阿 (1) 啦！你諗下添 la ！ 於是個結果就係 (1) 有34 粒， (2) 得 33 粒，丙要 33 粒， (4) 同 (5) 就乜都冇！ 或者你又會問點解唔可以 (2) 、(3) 同 (4) 呢？咁樣 (2) 就有34 粒o剌！ 咁我又問番你勒，你話冇左 (1) 之後，阿 (5) 會唔會肯過阿 (2) 呢？為左自保，你係阿 (2) 既話，你會唔會 走條彎路o丫？ 唔係就係咁o羅！ ============ 其實如果要計數，求其請個 qualified accountant 就得啦！俾你請埋個精算師勒，乜數都幫你計掂o剌！駛乜要請個做 administration 既黎計數o者！ 但係如果請行政人才或者 CEO ，佢地個角色就係 LEADER 。咁一個機構o既 LEADER，又駛乜做會計、財務、精算既野o丫？ LEADER 既其中一個角色就係要帶領公司迎戰，嚮戰場上面要爭贏，但又唔係話要做 monopoly 先至得 。 點解？咁當然要睇下係做o羊生意啦！唔係樣樣都話要用 monopoly 方式架，要睇天時地利人和架！ =============== 死 la 死 la ， 大把野未做呀！唔得閒 ah ！ Faustus 呀，救我呀，快 d 執漏啦！靠你 lah ！ P.S. 你巢唔巢到我收埋送俾你個份聖誕禮物啊 ~ ！ 返黎送份新年禮物俾你。

Backward Reasoning I think that George’s answer is the “standard” answer. But I agree with S.C. that //this question is not well-defined. Say can the pirates make deals? And will they keep their promise? The outcome can be different.// Besides, the standard answer ignores the risk factor. We should remember that we are not only calculating their possible gains but also the risks of their loss (their most precious lives). So, it’s very unlikely that #1 would propose the plan given by the standard answer because the risk is too high. On the other hand, #5 would not accept the plan given by the standard answer because the possible gain (two diamonds) is just too low given his bargaining power. So, the answer given by 十三點 may be a better one. As A Qualified Accountant pointed out, this question is about backward reasoning, which, I think, is problematic. Consider the following example. Suppose a teacher tells the class that he will give them a surprise quiz in the following week. Now, the teacher cannot give the quiz on Friday because when it is Thursday, the whole class will know for sure that the quiz will be on Friday, so it won’t be a “surprise” anymore. But the teacher cannot give the quiz on Thursday because the quiz cannot be on Friday (for reason stated above) and when it is Wednesday, the whole class will know for sure that the quiz will be on Thursday, so it won’t be a “surprise” either. Similarly, the teacher cannot give the quiz on Wednesday, Tuesday, or Monday. The conclusion is that a teacher can never give a real “surprise” quiz. What is wrong about this (backward) reasoning? P.S. 十三點, thanks for your present in advance. Have a nice trip!

X'mas & New Year Faustus, 送俾你的聖誕禮物，其實我知道你已經收左架 la ！ 祝安好！ 十三點

Faustus I heard this story about 15 years ago. I still remember the test was finally on Wednesday and it was indeed a surprise. :) The problem is that we have to specify the time (and/or the subject). The surprise attack at pearl harbor was a surprise for the Americans right before the attack. (Well, there are reports that some American scouts found the planes and that was some conspiracy...) But it was no longer a surprise to the Americans after a couple of bombs had dropped. In your example, the test surely couldn't take place on Friday. Because the students would be sure on Thursday. But The students could only know that at the end of Thursday. If there was no test on Monday and tuesday, on Wednesday, they wouldn't know if the test would be on Thursday or Friday.

點解咁分呢？ Benson 呀 ，不如你又解釋下你個答案 jeh ，好唔好 ah ？

To: 十三點 Wait a minute, I thought the rules say //當超過半數的人同意時，按照他的提案進行分配，//, //超過半數// means MORE THAN half. When there are five people, three of them must agree. When there are four, still three of them must agree (half of four is two, more than two means at least three). Similarly, when there are three; two of them must agree. When there are two (half of two is one, more than one means two), both two must agree. This is what I thought which is quite different from George’s answer. Am I mistaken here? My rationale: Total# of pirates: More than half of total# 5, 3 4, 3 3, 2 2, 2 PIRATE #: 1 2 3 4 5 No. of diamonds: 34 33 33 0 0 PIRATE #: 2 3 4 5 No. of diamonds: 34 33 33 0 PIRATE #: 3 4 5 No. of diamonds: 50 50 0 PIRATE #: 4 5 No. of diamonds: 50 50 When there are two pirates left, there will be no alterative. Since both most agree on the assignment and both want maximum benefit, it must be 50 for #4 pirate and 50 for #5 pirate. When there are three pirates left, the assignment is 50 for #3 pirate, 50 for #4 pirate and 0 for #5 pirate. #5 pirate will definitely disagree. However, it doesn’t matter. Since both 3 and 4 will agree on the assignment in order to get maximum benefit. By thinking this way, we can figure out cases for four and five pirates. Again they are similar. For both cases, three pirates must agree on the assignment. That means we have to please all three of them and maximize their benefits. The optimal benefits for all three are 33 each, and the first one who makes the assignment gets one more, namely 34. The remaining pirate(s) will get zero and he(they) will disagree. Again, he(they) can be ignored since he is (they are) the minority. Therefore the result is: PIRATE #: 1 2 3 4 5 No. of diamonds: 34 33 33 0 0 The #1 pirate gets 34, #2 and #3 pirates get 33 each; while #4 and #5 pirates get 0. #4 pirate and #5 pirate will disagree. Their objection can be ignored since they are the minority. What about #2 and #3 pirates. Will they agree? For #3 pirate: I assume all pirates are equally rational, intelligent and selfish with no bargaining or making deals among themselves. Now #2 and #3 pirates both get 33, which is almost the best that they can get splitting the total amount three ways. There is no difference in benefit between #2 and #3 pirates. If either #2 or #3 pirate disagrees, #1 pirate will die and it will be #2 pirate’s turn to make the assignment. #3 pirate may get 33 but he may also get zero. PIRATE #: 2 3 4 5 No. of diamonds: 34 0 33 33 So #3 pirate has to bet between getting 33 or getting 0. I think he will pick the former. For #2 pirate: If he accepts the assignment made by #1 pirate, he gets 33. If he doesn’t, he will need to make his own assignment; and if his assignment is not agreed by more than half of the total # of pirates, he will die. So he is betting between getting 33 or dying. I think he will also pick the former. (Try to imagine if you were #2 pirate. “If I take it, I’ll get 33. If I don’t, I may get less or even die”. How would you choose?) Do you think I am right? Remember I assumed that they are all selfish. They rather get less than to risk their own lives. According to the above table, the best that a pirate can get is 50, the most likely one, or the safest one is 33 or 34 and the minimum is 0. The worst case scenario is death.

To Benson When there are 2 pirates left. #4 must propose #5 to have 100 diamonds to save his own life. Because: 1. when there are 2 left, #5 can single-handedly decide to pass #4's proposal or not. 2. If #5 reject #4's proposal, #4 will die and #5 will get 100 diamonds anyway. So he won't be happy with any less than 100. If #4 propose 50/50. #5 will threat him: "Hey #4, if you don't give me 100, I will reject and you will die."

to Benson 你諗既同我諗 geh 一模一樣。 而且佢地個提意見o既次序係依次序 (1) 、 (2) 、 (3) 、 (4) 、 (5) 咁樣，所以最大既利益者係 (1) 、 (2) 、 (3)。佢地一定會合作既！

to S. C. 單係 (4) 或者 (5) 都唔過半數 ga mah ！ 所以一係就你死或者我亡，爭餐死咁話o羅。不過邊個會死，又邊一個亡呢？抑或大家都仍然會跟遊戲規則呢？即係要過半數先至有得分，可以分呢？ 如果跟規則，咁最好方法就會係 50、 50 勒！ 唔跟既話，咁就 100 、 0 loh！

IQ Test Anyone who has interest in IQ test can go to the followlng web site: http://www.highiqsociety.org http://www.hkmensa.org If your IQ appears to be the top 2% of the population(score 148 or above),you can entry Mensa--an international organisation of top IQ .

correction If your IQ appears to be the top 5% of the population,you can enter High IQ Society. If your IQ appears to be the top 2% of the population(score 148 or above),you can enter Mensa--an international organisation for people of top IQ .

To: 十三點 Sorry I think we are wrong. I guess Robinson's answer is the right one. I made a mistake at the bottom and I got wrong deduction all the way up. Sorry. #1 2 3 4 5 97 0 1 2 0 or 97 0 1 0 2 # 2 3 4 5 98 0 1 1 #3 4 5 100 0 0 #4 5 0 100

Why, why, tell me why Benson ， 你唔好咁講啦，講到好似你誤左我咁。錯就齊齊錯o羅，我地都係咁諗加 mah ， 你唔好攬o西上身啦 ! 其實係我今朝諗起架，唔關你事架，不過我要走 la ，睇下今晚訓覺既時候系點諗先。

To: 十三點 Please read Faustus's, SC's and Robinson's posts. Theoretically robinson's answer is the right one. However, as pointed out by Faustus, it didn't take into account risk evaulation, bargaining, making deals, double-crossing (which are common for pirates) etc. Our intial approach was based on a PRACTICAL consideration. That's why we came up with 34,33,33,0,0. It makes more sense in practice. However, this is a hypothetical question, not a practical one. (In real life, when there are two pirates left; do you think #4 will really die without fighting and let #5 take all 100 diamonds)? So we shouldn't argue that way. We should simply follow the rules and make mechanical deductions just like what we do in math or logic. Therefore I still think Robinson is the winner. PS: have a nice trip and Merry X'mas to you.

Robinson好高呀 我林左好耐先至林到Robinson個答案 佢用左18分03秒搞掂， 仲要是包洗剪吹的 路人乙是否可以開估啦 我買Robinson 也想知道你不同意標準答案的原因 ＜普通話＞研究研究嗎！ 我估Robinson年薪應該冇8萬美金，現正打算轉工，首選是MICROSOFT^^"

i hv also discussed this question with my classmate and we conclude that the answer should be: 1 get 96 2 get 0 3 get 0 4 get 2 5 get 2 我們的推裡方式與Benson and Robinson 的大同小異。我們的process 如下: #1 2 3 4 5 96 0 0 2 2 #2 3 4 5 98 0 1 1 #3 4 5 100 0 0 #4 5 0 100 我們的answer 是assume 了他們會在不失去life 情況下冒最大的險. of course ,# 4 5 and # 3 4 5 still won't be change because 4為了保命,在這兩個case 裏都會投贊成票. but for # 2 3 4 5 ,如果2不給4 diamond,4可能會搏在 # 3 4 5 時,3會給4 diamond 而反對2,of course,actually everybody noes that in # 3 4 5,3 won't give 4 any diamond,but still for 4 it is no difference for 4 to agree or diagree 2,so ,to convince 4 must agree 2, 2 need to give 4 1 diamond. For 5, he noes that in # 3 4 5, he will be the "weakness", that means 5 can't affect the distribution of diamonds even he disagree with 3.So ,the same as 4, 5 will agree if 3 give any diamond to 5 . So ,to convince 5 will agree, 2 will give 5 one diamond. so ,we get the answer for # 2 3 4 5 with Benson or Robinson....but for # 1 2 3 4 5....

For # 1 2 3 4 5 5 noes actually in the whole process of distribution...he can't get more that 2 diamond as in # 3 4 5, 3 can do wht ever 3 like ,5 won't get any diamond in # 3 4 5.( # 4 5 actually is a case that will never happen.)In #2 3 4 5, 5 will get 1 diamond .If 1 only give 5 1 diamond, 5 may be disagree with 1 as he can c how 2 distribute the diamond .So if 1 give him two diamonds, 5 must agree with him as in any case , he won't get diamonds equal or more than two diamonds. For 4,it's the same as 5 because in # 2 3 4 5 ,4 will get maximum 1 diamond,so if 1 give 4 two diamonds,4 must agree with 1 and so ... the answers come out...

this solution must assume that they won't make any agreement, any dicussion b4. And also they need to be as clever as 1 ,if not, all the vote can be different from our answer.Also ,we need to assume that they won't have any "feeling" on others. That means, they all concern is only their life ,then the money. If not, the vote will also change as they wanna kill someone.

I think why our answer is different from Robinson's one is because we "think" that 4 and 5 in this "game" will be the weakness as the process of distribution must be stopped in #3 4 5. So 1 will give 4 and 5 diamond to convince they agree 1 but not giving diamond to 3.

致網頁編輯 本人在此網區一直以「無名」為名（例如在<<靠左走>>條中）。剛出現四次的無名君, 並非本人。 煩請安排, 萬謝！

sori..i've check my answer below..there are some "typing error" in the first mail i sent out, the forth paragraph ," For 5, he noes that...." ,in the third line . it should be "So,the same as 4,5 will agree if 2 give any diamond to 5"

Dear editor, As there is already a pll called 無名 ,could u pls just change my name to "無名人羣"???Thank you

手頭上的標準答案 標準答案 超過半數的人同意時便可通過及唔使死： (假設每人既目的係分得最多石,同盡量另其他人死)得一半人同意都要死 如果得番4,5 咁,4 無論點分都要死 所以4 一定會支持3 所講既野 所以3 一定會話自己要晒100 粒 因為1 死左, 2 講咩都唔夠過半數支持 所以1 講咩2 都會支持 1比一粒4就夠三個人支持...... 因此1 可以得99 粒,2 得0粒可以保命, 4可以得1粒,3得0粒及5得0粒反對都無用。 基礎係2一定"唔要"自己生命有危險；1 死左3一定會要2死，1、2死左3可以要哂100粒(因為4唔可以淨同5一齊所以迫住同意3)，所以4有1粒好過冇，5因為一定唔會死所以冇可能會同意任何動議(1、2、3死哂5有權要100粒) 我唔同意標準答案是因為2有可能搵條命來博；效果係： 標準答案-1有99，2、3有0，4有1，5有0...... 呢個時候2唔同意咁3、5都一定反對1，1死了2可以call自己要34，3有0，4、5各33，由於3一定會迫死2所以唔使理，4冇可能於2死後會有多過33粒(5唔能究用33粒博4唔要命放棄33粒石)，因此極有可能同意2。

I also think that...the standard answer is wrong...As we and many pll in this net analyse b4, there is a chance for 2 to stay alive in Case # 2 3 4 5, so 2 will disagree with 1 . Also 5 will disagree with 1 as he is sure to get one diamond in Case # 2 3 4 5. And so,this answer must be wrong.

To: 無名 You need maximum benefit for #1. #1 gains more in: #1 2 3 4 5 97 0 1 2 0 or 97 0 1 0 2 than #1 2 3 4 5 96 0 0 2 2

無名 既是無名 何苦爭名

大雄不辨雌雄？ 不是「爭名」的問題, 而是免得混淆網友視聽的問題。

本人雌雄同體, 心理有問題的, 呵呵唏呵呵................

誰是雌無名？ 誰是雄無名？

致網管 2002-12-21 00:04:14 的"嚼字"是冒名者, 請查核。以後此名若再出現, 與本人（一向以來名嚼字者）無關,謝謝。

未詳細睇各位貼文... 哈哈, 不如試想想如果是半數或以上的人同意也能通過時的答案丫? 想到的話, 再想想如果將三千億分給700萬人時, 要點做? 嘻嘻, 有答案的話, 你可以做財爺 :P

我的答案 同意十三點的一句說話：「單係 (4) 或者 (5) 都唔過半數 ga mah ！ 」 按照遊戲規則，若是剩下#4及#5的話，兩者都沒有機會死，因為“「提案者」有投票權的關係”，無論#5怎樣反對皆無效，皆不能超過半數，皆不能令#4死，所以，#5的期望是：若不是得0，則必不投反對票。 我的process與“無名人羣”在後段的分析有些分歧，但大抵上相若如下： #1 2 3 4 5 96 0 0 2 2 #2 3 4 5 98 0 0 2 #3 4 5 99 0 1 #4 5 100 0 未到最後一刻，#5都會認為自己“有機會”可得到2顆。

Surprise S.C. So how did you do in the surprise quiz? : ) To Dr. Lee’s students Don’t give your phone numbers to Dr. Lee; otherwise he may call you guys to have a surprise quiz on Sunday. : )

忽發奇想 基本上同意Robinson的答案，佩服！但又忽發奇想，不知這樣行得通否？ 第一個海盜提議由他得98顆寶石，另外一顆給第五名﹝或第四名？﹞海盜，其餘一顆由所有贊成這個方案的人抽籤獲得。

n/t Faustus: Well I flunk it, because here is another surprise: I didn't really care. :) BTW, Dr. Lee: of course the test could be on Friday, but it wouldn't be a surprise anymore on Thursday. Perhaps the real surprise was that there was no test at all, everybody would pass so everybody would have a merry Xmas! Yay!

>>再想想如果將三千億分給700萬人時, 要點做? This is not hard...All goes to me! SC: There's a very simple solution to your "surprise quiz" problem...just give the quiz to the students without telling them about it the previous week

...or any time before the quiz actually take place

康慈如果係1號的話！會提出我不要這100顆寶石了！留給你們４人去分吧！但我想成為這次的見政人！好嗎？ 其他海盜為了自己的利益，因此４人一定全體同意！之後其他海盜為了自己的利益，因此全都否決了別人的分配提案！因此其他之後3人的提案，都被否定了！第五人的提案因為沒有人同意或否定！因此沒有"超過"半數人同意！因為1號成了見政人。所以5號將被扔入大海喂鯊魚。最後成了只有一號沒有死！因此這100顆寶石成了1號！

Robinson兄, 你未免太貪吧? 如果要半數或以上香港人支持, 我的答案是至少要出350萬....

To：Robinson [[1]] //just give the quiz to the students without telling them about it the previous week// 這不符合論題的假設：// Suppose a teacher tells the class that…// ( Faustus ) [[2]] //or any time before the quiz actually take(s) place// 這等于李先生給出的條件句的後項（2002-12-20 15:20:00）, 但當缺少了前項的設定時, 學生可能（比如）因錯誤的想法而認定該次測驗必在下星期某天舉行, 因而在該天舉行就沒有任何 surprise 可言, 故不能如你所說：//any time…// [[3]] 最後, 若將上述條件句的前項補上, 那麼你的說法是成立的, 但這時你只不過重述了李先生的說法一次。

個問題係 既然每個海盜都是很聰明的人，都能很理智的判斷得失，點解會決定用呢個隨時一無所有嘅方法分石?

第二輪筆試 好似係聖誕節之前咁同阿 Benson 講過 : // 其實係我今朝諗起架，唔關你事架，不過我要走 la ，睇下今晚訓覺既時候系點諗先。// ================= 尋晚訓覺既時候先至記得起原來有 d 野唔記得左思考o下。 計我話，參加第一輪筆試既應徵者， 大致上可以分成兩堆。 第一堆果 d 就較為死咕咕，死牛一便頸，乜野都要計數，計呀計呀咁。代表人物就係 Robinson, George, S.C. 同阿 Faustus o羅！人地話乜佢地就信乜！ 阿 Benson 原本係好精靈 ge ，唔知點解愈大就愈容易受誘惑，十三點就係咁失去左 Benson 勒！真真係好可惜啊！ 另外果堆就頭腦靈活，打橫打掂都講得咁好，俾左好多唔同 ge 可能原因我地！睇得我地好開心，眼界大開！ 之不過咁，大公司請人，係要揾唔同既人黎做唔同既位。所以呢，十三點 ge 諗法就係，今次全部參加筆試 ge 網友，都可以入曬圍，繼續嚮第二輪比試裡面一較高下咁話！ =============== 路人乙呀，仲有冇「微弱」 d 題目呀？ 有就唔該貼上黎 jeh ！

愛情宗教 父子情宗教和愛情宗教在客觀的意義上有沒有大分別? 李天命老師-沒有你這明燈,我只有在黑暗繼續摸索ｏ多謝你!!!

Question for the second round You can expect the below question to be asked in the second round interview for those who suceeded in the first round. 1 + 1 = ? Again this will test whether one will qualify as a senior executive in the ever-growing multinational companies.

開始報名 la ！ Wa ~ Wa ~ Wa ~，十三點好開心快樂啊！ 1 + 1 = ? 咁深既？都話左人地唔多識計數架啦！有冇貼士呀？ Faustus，幫我 ah ！ 我地果筆數遲 d 至計，好唔好呀？

2 is the answer 1 + 1 = 2 想都不用想，2 是唯一的答案。 除非....... 除非在數字的後面加上一些單位(units)，情況便大為不同。 比如說：1 person + 1 person = 1 team

報平安o剌， Faustus！ // Faustus，幫我 ah ！ 我地果筆數遲 d 至計，好唔好呀？// Faustus 你去左邊呀？ 我似乎有可能差唔多就快爭 D D 想喊架 la ！ 冇左你我仲洗周圍 tun 既？ 咁我 d 牙齒印邊有人幫我擺平喎？ 仲有人肯咁底得諗幫我補錯補漏既 meh ？ 呢度除左你就冇人對我咁好，同我一齊無聊儍癡啦！連阿康慈都唔多啋我！ 算啦！算啦！最多你做左既壞事，欠我既個筆債就一筆勾消 lah ！ 人地真係想參加第二輪筆試加o麻！ 一係我諗幾個可能 ge 答案，你是但係咁 e 簡個o羅，好唔好呀？ 事實係你個福頭做左 d 手指拗出唔拗入 ge 事，不過我都冇話過唔理你！ 而家唔理人地果個係你 jah，好叻o羊 ~ ！

1+1 =2.

雪山､平安､有心 //算啦！算啦！最多你做左既壞事，欠我既個筆債就一筆勾消 lah ！// 不能反悔啊﹗ 剛從雪山回來﹐雪正在溶化﹐實在不宜滑雪。雖然風景不錯﹐但找不到那帶路的玉兔﹐也看不到仙女。 回正題﹕1 + 1 = 2 P.S. 各位數學家､物理學家﹐天機不能也不必再洩。山之高度能用儀器遙距測出﹐但雪山之美只能親自登山體會﹐祝各位有此機緣。

1+1=10

雪糕、快樂、無心 Faustus， 見番你我就放心 d 勒！ 而家我食緊雪山雪糕，vanilla 味。 好放心可以應考第二輪筆試。 話果筆數唔計其實係我既無心之失！ ================= 咁果 d 考官會問點解係 1 + 1 = 2 加 mah！咁點解o者？ 我個心目中有兩個答案，不過未諗掂簡邊個。 Benson 呀， Jacky 呀，你地又為左 d 乜野原因話個 答案係 2 呢？我心目中果兩個答案都冇 2 架！

1 + 1 = 10 原來數學狂不單只對數學有興趣，還是一名電腦迷哩，二進制恐怕袛有用在電腦上才有意義。

仙女的恩賜 To Faustus, >>找不到那帶路的玉兔﹐也看不到仙女。<< 不過,十三點卻與你重聚。現在她笑容滿面,還在享受你帶回來的雪山雪榚! >>雪山之美只能親自登山體會<< 絕對同意!當陽光照射著山峰,仙女悄悄地展露她的容顏,是登山者夢寐以求的一刻,是艱辛旅程最美好的回報。可惜,小弟當年與仙女緣慳一面。

1+1=0 in Z mod 2

李天命： // Cf： 1 = {α：Σx(xεα)&ΠyΠz[(yεα&zεα)→y=z]} 2 = {β：ΣxΣy[xεβ&yεβ&~(x=y)]&ΠuΠvΠw[(uεβ&vεβ&wεβ)→(u=vVu=wVv=w)]} m+n = {ξ：ΣγΣδ[γεm&δεn&γ∩δ=Ø&Πx[xεξ≡(xεγVxεδ)]]} // 十三點評：此之謂化簡為繁乎？ =============== 有 d 人係咁架！ 係o羅係o羅，就好似上面果段野咁o羅！驚死人地唔知佢「高」佢「深」咁！ 乜咁架乍？十三點既勢利眼一睇，就已經巢番曬果 26 個英文字母出黎 lah ~ ！ α β C δ Σ f ξ Π [ ] ε ( m n Ø ) δ γ & → u V w x y z ============= 所以話呢，做人就唔好自卑，o米以為人地寫 d 乜、講 d 乜 就好叻。 S. C. 話齋，佢識既雖然你未必識，但係你識既佢又係未必識個喎。 十三點對人 ge 要求一 d 都唔高。你讀萬卷書，人地行萬里路，書讀得多，做人處事又未必話一定好。有 d 野唔係奉旨架，不過有 d 奉旨既又唔聽話喎！人地讀書時讀書，遊戲時遊戲，Faustus 就讀書時發夢，考試時牙痛。 唔係o羊？唔係又點會寫得出 1 + 1 = 2 咁既野出黎呀？ 不過我冇阿 Faustus 錯呀！ 我今次既策略係要睇定形勢做人 ah ！

更正 不過我冇(話)阿 Faustus 錯呀！

十三點, 請勿自作多情呀 別人已聲明了「旨在嘗試單指弄鍵盤」,如此而已！

更正 「自作多」改為「表錯」。

表錯情 就冇， 不過阿李博士成日整蠱同欺負十三點就真、就有！ (一) 佢掌我個嘴！ (二) 東壁攪鬼既新年 666 事件，佢冇立刻澄清， 令到十三點好驚，然之後佢先至施施然咁出離話 — 唔關我事架！ (三) 明明人地講左好幾次話唔多識計數，佢竟然仲寫左咁多符號黎「教」我 1 + 1 = 2 (實情係唔係講緊或者証緊 1+1=2 我都唔知 ah ！我靠估架乍！)，咁算係點先？你話勒！

亞康慈呀~ eh~~ 都係唔問你啦! 問十三點好d。雖則你係深不可測, 但係睇你d野有時辛苦到標眼水呀! 亞十三點, 李博士畫0個幾條算式究竟講乜東東0架? 我淨係睇到好多符號串埋一齊, 好似串燒甘咋!

我地食左人地成間公司通常都唔o累骨o既, 敢你話算係1+1=幾呢, 請問下? 係甘先!

1 person + 1 person = 1 team 1 company + 1 company = 1 group

致網頁編輯 我係第一次到留言區,但msg係用descending order 排列,一次過看曬咁多頁好辛苦,可否供人選用arscending order 來看? thx

左撇子 看一看自己右面

左撇子 click上下移動的藍色箭咀

一看就知道是李天命話給十三點知！答案[心境平靜] 1 = {α：Σx(xεα)&ΠyΠz[(yεα&zεα)→y=z]} 2 = {β：ΣxΣy[xεβ&yεβ&~(x=y)]&ΠuΠvΠw[(uεβ&vεβ&wεβ)→(u=vVu=wVv=w)]} m+n = {ξ：ΣγΣδ[γεm&δεn&γ∩δ=Ø&Πx[xεξ≡(xεγVxεδ)]]} // 十三點評：此之謂化簡為繁乎？ =============== 有 d 人係咁架！ 係o羅係o羅，就好似上面果段野咁o羅！驚死人地唔知佢「高」佢「深」咁！ 乜咁架乍？十三點既勢利眼一睇，就已經巢番曬果 26 個英文字母出黎 lah ~ ！ α β C δ Σ f ξ Π [ ] ε ( m n Ø ) δ γ & → u V w x y z

o下 我仲以為教緊我計數乍！ 十三點又一次露左無知既兔腳o剌！想扮露馬腳都唔得！ 拿，我見到個 1 字，有個 2 字，又有 m + n (估係 1 + 1 卦)，所以以為阿李博士教我計數o丫o麻！ 阿旺旺呀，你接唔接受康慈既解釋呀？ 不如阿 Robinson 幫吓旺旺同埋我，解下畫，好唔好呀？ 冇乜野既，認同 S.C. 講既野，玩下o者！我都話左李博士整古我個o各！

亞十三點牙, 我信康慈架, 唔信佢點得呢? 你知我低低地架la, 睇個名就知, 唔止添woh, 仲係數理盲, 所以我信晒康慈架! ΠØnξ cΠ[ wα wØΠ: ping sheung ngan hon sai kan si ping sheung sum dui sai kan yan Πα wα ?

唔夠兩……？ 老師教小朋友加數。左手拿著一個蘋果，右手拿著另一個蘋果，問道：「我手上有幾多個蘋果？」小朋友想了想，回道：「唔夠兩個。」老師不明白，於是學著麥當當廣告中的美美女教師，側著頭問小朋友道：「點解呀？」「因為左手邊果個大Ｄ！」小朋友騎騎笑起來。 1+1>2or<2，行嗎？

真正答案 有個經理要請女秘書，為咗測驗佢地嘅性格，經理出咗一個好簡單嘅題目：1+1=? 喺分開面試嘅時候： 第一位非常快趣咁回答：2。 主任：呢個得唔得？ 經理：做事非常果斷，但係缺乏思考。 第二位佢諗咗一陣話：應該係 2 啩。 主任：咁呢個呢？ 經理：做嘢前會思考，但係有啲優柔掛斷。 第三位諗咗一陣，喺張紙上面寫咗個「王」字。 主任：哈哈！ 經理：好有創意，但係唔實際。 第四位好穩陣：計算出嚟係 2，IQ題答案係「王」字。 主任：犀利！ 經理：考慮周詳，不過模糊咗真正答案嘅焦點。 第五位了：計算出嚟係 2，IQ題答案係「王」字，但係真正嘅答案只有經理知道，經理希望係 2就係 2，希望係王就係王。 主任：仲唔係佢？ 經理：佢各方面都唔錯，但係分明喺度拍緊我馬屁。 完成咗 5 個面試之後，經理叫一干人等返去等消息。 主任：個個都唔得，不如我再登 ad 叫人嚟…… 經理：唔駛，就請第二個。 主任：點解？你又話佢性格優柔掛斷？ 經理：佢性格係點關我咩事……請佢係因為佢身材最好，條裙最短。

真正笑話 創意冇得頂,謝謝！

Transformations 週末再到雪山﹐跟TESTING 兄一樣﹐//與仙女緣慳一面。// TESTING 兄雖無仙女的恩賜﹐但收穫也不少吧﹖既有如玉的溫潤､葬花的迷離﹐亦能看到李博士論十三點﹐更何況vit 回來開檔﹐好詩可期。 P.S. 雖然十三點的十三點已被李博士論盡﹐但不用生氣。神秘的通常都高貴﹐但少一點神秘亦無損十三點的高貴﹐既然我們是twins﹐論盡了你即論盡了我—們的DNA結構﹐就讓我少一點神秘﹐你添一分高貴吧。

to : Faustus 早安！ 借廣東人君嚮《浪漫》留言串 2002-10-27 11:06:32 一文送俾你。 留言串而家既位置應該嚮頁二十一。 俾：我既 twin brother 阿 Faustus 預祝你農曆新年快樂！

葬花不是我 To Faustus： 承你用//葬花的迷離//來形容在下，這裡可能有點誤會。當日無端端唸起「葬華詞」來的是十三點，無端端因這首詞而記起在下的是TESTING，在下從來與葬花無涉。由於葬花之舉多為女性，在下身分尚屬雌雄未定，男女未分(雖然TESTING用「她」來指我)，一旦建立了這個葬花的image，以後就水洗不清，註定要做女人了。

唔知點解 貼多o左一次，浪費篇幅，不好意思。

不可說時不可說 又是一個美麗的錯誤! 葬花的女子惹人憐愛 葬花的男子世間罕有 無論女子或男子,均是人間至情

寶石問題 雖然遲了,但我想試試去解答.綜合了大家的意見,我認為答案是: 1:97 2:0 3:1 4:2 5:0 因為若1 死了,2可提議2:98 3:0 4:1 5:1.因為2死了3可獨得100粒.因此4和5必需同意2的建議.換句話說若1死了,3必得0粒及4,5各得1粒.因此只要給3一粒,4兩粒及5兩粒他們三個也會同意.而最慳的做法就是給3一粒及給4(或5)兩粒去令他們和議. 不知大家有何看法?

迷離､迷離 迷離﹐小弟無意亂辨雌雄﹐‘葬花的迷離’ 指的是‘因十三點葬花而引起的迷迷離離(的//美麗的錯誤//)’ 。引起誤會﹐實在抱歉﹐見諒。 同意TESTING, 葬花的, //無論女子或男子,均是人間至情// P.S. Thanks, 十三點, but you are not saying farewell to us, are you?

儂未葬花 已被人笑癡！ (@_____@) *********************** // 十三點, but you are not saying farewell to us, are you? // Faustus，我今日仲未諗呢個問題，唔係今日就未知住。 人生到處知何似 恰似飛鴻踏雪泥 泥上偶爾留指爪 鴻飛那復計東西 ********************** 爭 d 唔記得同你講 乜咁早晨呀！ 順便講埋午安 同 早抖！

AndyCool 咁樣會唔會仲「慳」？ 1:98 2:0 3:0 4:1 5:0 其餘一顆由贊成這個方案的人抽籤獲得。 如果#1死了，#3肯定只得0，贊成#1既話仲有機會抽到1粒，所以#3會同意這個建議。至於#4，#1一死，最多只能從#2處分到1粒，依家#1坐底俾佢1粒，好彩既話抽到就有2粒，#4冇理由反對。既然有#1、3、4贊成，呢個方案肯定通過，#2或者#5會點諗，橫掂反對都冇用，既唔能夠改變結果，反而喪失抽籤既機會，與其眼白白見人地分寶石，倒不如索性投贊成票，起碼可以有份博一博。 結果係：所有海盜都同意#1呢個提議‥‥‥ 咁既推論唔知得唔得？

TO:小孩 閣下的解答也很合理啊.真理果然越辯越明!

有d唔同 TESTING + Faustus： 男性同女性o既葬花有d唔同，女人葬花是至情，男人葬埋落花度，不但至情，而且至性。:):)

葬花的只有黛玉,世問亦只有一個黛玉 十三點,你幾時去揾東坡居士同法印和尚?可唔可以幫我請教佢地:如何見本性清淨?我要再去雪山揾仙女,可能返唔到嚟!

TESTING 不如你揾 Benson 啦！ 挽唔下手親自去揾蘇東坡或者佛印都係可以考慮既方法。

TESTING 冇寶玉就冇我!

2 Faustus，早晨！ 今日可能得閒少少，我約你一齊諗諗你提議俾我既答案。

下與不下 //泥上偶爾留指爪 鴻飛那復計東西// 放得下即得解脫 但放不下才是人生

Faustus // 放得下即得解脫 但放不下才是人生 // 將這兩句話放在新 thread 中討論，好唔好呀？ 如果你話好，咁就唔該你去開新 thread o剌！

沒有黛玉,那有寶玉 在世間尋尋覓覓跌跌碰碰,想不到在電子世界與妳重遇!黛玉,當年何解葬花?

2 (II) Faustus 你不嬲都聰明有智慧，係間中發下夢咁既 jeh！ 我唔係話你個 1 + 1 = 2 答案錯播， 不過你個答案咁樣寫就可能好 d 勒！ ************ 1 + 1 = 二 ************ 點解呀？ 拿，你非常快趣咁答 ： 二 做事非常果斷，有判斷力，唔係優柔掛斷。好！ 好有創意，又有實際。妙！ 好穩陣，考慮周詳，又冇模糊真正答案焦點。可靠！ 唔肯拍馬屁。有性格！ 問題就係： 好似吳蘭露話齋 // 佢性格係點關我咩事……請佢係因為佢身材最好，條裙最短。// 所以呢，如果你寫係 二 就最好勒！ 二字可長可短，能屈能伸，能上能下， 咁就最得人鍾意！ 呢呢呢，個二字如果上短就可以下長， 上長就下短， 上咁長，下咁長， 上咁短，下咁短， 唔長唔短， 時長時短， 果兩劃可近可遠，若即若離， 引死人！ 但係點先至最o岩、最好、最正確呢？ 咁就要靠 intuition 嫁 lah！ 做高級行政人員，唔係時時話要靠其他人、其他料 ge， intuition 都好重要，要抓緊時機，福至心靈先至得架！ 我講住咁多先，要休息一陣，同其他人無聊下先！ 你有乜諗法呀，Faustus？ ===================== 我個答案係乜？ 唔話你地知住！

寶玉 你蝦我!

不是冤家不聚頭 石頭不敢!

衰遺石 你淨係掛住同晴雯, 襲人佢地玩就唔開門比我, 仲話冇蝦我, 依家仲話我係冤家! 我又流淚啦!

枉入紅塵若許年 你唔了解我,我都係去補蒼天!

寶哥哥 喂, 哥仔, 你照番書做戲好喎, 係呢個時候你應該話你根本唔知我有黎搵過你, 係d妹仔冇開門比我呀嗎! 唔係我地好唔番個喎! 仲有, 都話明你無才 天, 你係大觀園行吓好啦!

my immortal beloved 你做咩唔搭我咀呀?

林妹子 晴雯出走,襲人出嫁,補天無力,大觀園己破,頑石出家忘世情!

唔熟書 我係比人趕走兼瓜左, 唔係出走!

石頭仔 八十回後ge劇情唔算數個喎, 你出咩家呀!

自蓄辛酸，誰憐夭折？ 太好啦!睛雯你仲係世上,太好啦!太好啦!太好啦!

! 唔比我係鬼!

有甚麼可怕? 當年你被逐的怨屈,就由我好好補償。林妹子,一定很開心!

雪芹先生 一切都是先生的傑作,十年的辛勞!

假寶玉 係會講d咁ge野足以證明你係假扮ge寶玉, 你又唔熟劇情又唔熟我脾性, 我同我個寶哥哥係絕配, 三不五時灑吓花 增進感情, 我係主子又點會同d妹仔爭風吃醋呢, 你個白痴!

黛玉妹子 你唔好嬲!一切都喺我唔啱,我向你陪個不是,妹妹你好心腸原諒我啦!更多年前嘅事,記憶同事實梗有d出入,但我對你始終如一,真心真意!

我死左啦, bye bye! 我死左啦, bye bye!

my answer My answer is First pirate 33 Second pirate 33 Third pirate 34 Reasons: The fist pirate only need to win the support of other two pirate. First, we consider the fourth and fifth pirate, they will mostly tend to reject the plans suggested by the first pirate, because they can get the most benefit if the first is die. So first pirate can't get any vote from fourth and fifth. The second pirate will tend to support the first pirate because if the first one is die, he also need to win two pirates to support him, and if the second pirate use the same plan suggested by the first pirate, he won't have extra benefit. Beside that he would have risk of his life if other reject his plan. SO, THE SECOND PIRATE MUST SUPPORT THE FIRST PIRATE' PLAN. If the third pirate rejct the plan of first pirate, and the second pirate use the same plan, he will get less one diamond, because the scecond pirate need to win the support of fouth pirate. SO THE THIRD PIRATE MUST SUPPORT FIRST PIRATE'S PLAN.

。小息時間。(4) A sparrow decides that it is too hard a flight to go south in the winter and refuses to migrate when the other birds leave. Winter sets in and finally gets so bad that even the sparrow realizes he needs to head south. But he is no sooner in flight than ice forms on his wings and he falls to the ground. There on the cold, hard ground he is freezing to death until a cow comes by and flops on him. The warm of the cow's droppings began to warm him up and he feels so good he jumps up and starts singing. The farm cat hears him and pulls him out of his messy condition, cleans him up and eats him! The morals of this story are: [1] Not everybody who shits on you is your enemy. [2] Not everybody who gets you out of shit is your friend. [3] If, and when, you do get out of shit, keep your mouth shut!

從前有一隻貓立志要追隨全世界最偉大的動物, 牠出門之後看見羊正低著頭吃草, 就認定羊是最偉大的動物; 貓咪才一回頭, 就跑過來一頭飢餓的野狼,野狼一口就把羊給吃下去, 貓咪便覺得狼才是最偉大的動物; 過了一會兒,一隻老虎從樹叢後面出來, 老虎和野狼搏鬥之後,狼被啃的剩下一付骨頭, 貓咪從此以為老虎是最偉大的動物; 走著走著,看見男人拿著獵槍瞄準老虎, 砰的一聲,老虎就一命嗚呼, 於是貓就跟著男人回家; 才一踏進家門,就看見女人對男人咆哮, 男人連忙低頭向女人道歉, 貓咪這才了解到,女人才是世界上最偉大的動物...... 所以貓咪就跟在最偉大的動物--女人的身邊, 結果女主人一把抱起貓咪,摟在懷裡, 又替貓咪梳理毛髮並準備食物,甘心做貓兒的奴才, 貓咪終於了解原來自己才是最偉大的動物. 數年後,貓兒自知大限已到, 於是決定替自己雕塑一個塑像以教育後續子孫, 並可繼續接受女人的膜拜, 雕像下面同時也刻上了自己的名 (你地估下叫咩名????.......) . . . . . Hello Kitty!!! The moral of the story: 唔係個個古仔都有moral geh!!! (吳蘭露唔好嬲，我玩下架咋!)

一對老夫婦，女的穿著一套褪色的條紋棉布衣服，而她的丈夫則是穿著布製的便宜西裝，也沒有事先約好，就直接去拜訪哈佛的校長。校長的祕書在片刻間就斷定這兩個鄉下老土根本不可能與哈佛有業務來往。 先生輕聲的說：「我們要見校長。」 祕書很不禮貌的說：「他整天都很忙。」 女士回答說：「沒關係，我們可以等。」 過了幾個鐘頭，祕書一直不理他們，希望他們知難而退，自己走開。他們一直等在那裡。祕書終於決定通知校長，「也許他們跟您講幾句話就會走開。」 校長不耐煩的同意了，校長很有尊嚴而且心不甘情不願的面對這對夫婦。女士告訴他:「我們有一個兒子曾經在哈佛讀過一年，他很喜歡哈佛、他在哈佛的生活很快樂。但是去年，他出了意外而死亡。我丈夫和我想要在校園裡為他立一紀念物。」 校長並沒有被感動，反而覺得可笑，粗聲地說：「夫人，我們不能為每一位曾讀過哈佛而死亡的人建立雕像的。如果我們這樣做，我們的校園看起來會像墓園一樣。」 女士很快的說：「不是，我們不是要豎立一座雕像，我們想要捐一棟大樓給哈佛。」 校長仔細的看了一下條紋的棉布衣服及粗布的便宜西裝，然後吐一口氣說：「你們知不知道建一棟大樓要花多少錢嗎？我們學校的建築物超過七百五十萬元。」 這時，這位女士沈默不講話了。 校長很高興，總算可以把他們打發了。只見這位女士轉向她丈夫說：「只要七百五十萬就可以建一座大樓？那我們為什麼不建一座大學來紀念我們的兒子？」她的丈夫點頭同意。 就這樣，史丹佛先生夫人(Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford) 離開了哈佛，到了加州，成立了史丹佛大學(Stanford University)來紀念他們的兒子。 The morals of the story: 1) 秘書唔識睇眉頭眼額兼夾冇禮貌，好斃。 2) 見哈佛校長，請先預約。相金先惠格外留神。 3) 唔好喺澤楷面前提Stanford。

to:吳蘭露 那麼康慈在大嶼山建一座康慈大學！面積十份一個大嶼山！不知道要多少錢呢？二千億人民幣可以嗎？

to 康慈 可以。

幾個冇教好訓嘅短打 老張係一名教師，要改學生嘅作文。 是日題目：我的志願 genius 寫道：……我第一個志願是希望我的子女生生性性，第二個志願是希望找到一個待我很好的老婆…… 老張評語：要注意先後次序。 老張係一名教師，要改學生嘅作文。 是日題目：我的母親 Testing 寫道：……我的母親是一個六十多歲女性婦人…… 老張括着「女性」一詞，並標明是「多餘的」。 Testing 改為：……我的母親是一個六十多歲多餘的婦人…… 老張係一名教師，收到學生小王嘅請假申請。 小王因為有某個親友過身，要請假送殯，但佢喺「請假原因」一欄寫咗「出殯」。 老張為顯示佢嘅專業操守，忍住笑，含住泡淚同小王講：請假原因應該係你要做嘅嘢……咁你知唔知要改做乜嘢？ 小王諗咗陣，將「出殯」改為「陪葬」。

搞錯左 我的志願是娶五個老婆，sophie marceau做大婆，其餘四個....只有我知。 第二志願是去夏威夷住。夜夜同sophie marceau ,四個老婆 ,吹水，看星，看山，看海，作詩.......哈

笑到標眼水 我頂你唔順呀，吳蘭露，我D眼水標到而家。

我鍾意 我要提名吳蘭露為最有價值網友，佢美唔美貌我唔知，但可以肯定佢有智慧，肯定揮低S.C.，Faustus，Benson，vit，張海澎等等.......麻甩佬，因為你唔單止有智慧，仲係女人，我相信佢地唔會同你爭。而且根據非正式唔科學統計調查，鍾意講笑既女人多數胸大(反之不然)，你D笑話咁好笑，我估你..........

呢個息真係開心 genius, 你都幾識"柬"個喎, 但係唔夠dr.lee"壞"喇 (男不壞,女不愛呀,第d野唔知,呢句真係無昆你ka) 吳蘭露同明月,你地d笑話真係超好笑,好野!尤其吳蘭露好witty,你d笑話點唻ka?自己唸ka?

雙兒同吳蘭露 多謝雙兒話好笑！ 吳蘭露，我覺得你真係好可愛ga；先前你貼過個句：“雞同吳蘭露一整睬過你”等我笑左成晚！因為你答得好得意！

擁護提名 磊落: 您的提名, vit 作為您說的麻甩佬, 至死擁護. 有至於您非正式唔科學的統計, 我o地幾個麻甩佬.....都非常焦急等您開(估). vit 斗膽引用天命博士的名句及其首創之邏輯語法排列方式....... Bravo!!! Bravo!! Bravo! Bra v o ....... 預祝您開(估)成功! .................................. 另容許 vit 提名 古色古香 為最有慧眼的網友. ..................................

吳蘭露 我又post阿叔ge email出黎啦!事關我send左妳同麻瓜d笑話過佢, 佢話無以為報我, 其實應該係無以為報妳同麻瓜, 所以post出黎多謝吓你兩位, 順手大家又笑吓, 講到尾我都係最 數個個!^^ 妹妹仔: 連續收到幾篇正野, 無以為報。 有段小故事都幾得意, 可惜有多少兒童不宜。 諗上諗落, 終於寄上, 希望唔好介意。 老師佈置家庭作業。作文題係: [資本主義的未來]。小明唔知點寫, 要爸爸俾提示。佢爸爸以佢地屋企為例: [您爸爸我搏命搵銀, 我就係資本家喇。我搵左銀, 大部份要上繳俾您媽咪,您媽咪就係政府喇。您哥哥不務正業、好食懶飛, 係壞人喇。您哥哥個女朋友又靚、又聽話, 係好人喇。屋企個賓妹係勞動人民, 您就係老百姓, 您個蘇蝦仔細佬就係未來囉。]小明聽完之後坐埋書檯諗下點落筆, ... 忽然聽見個蘇蝦 喊, 佢走去搵媽咪, 媽咪扯緊鼻鼾, 推極都推唔醒。小明走去搵爸爸, 見到爸爸趴晌賓妹身上, 唔知搞乜鬼。小明走去哥哥間房, 哥哥亦趴晌佢女朋友身上糾纏。小明惟有走番入BB房,只見蘇蝦已經瀨屎瀨到周圍都係。... 於是乎, 小明寫道:[當老百姓手足無措?時後, 政府置諸不理, 資本家只顧壓迫勞動人民, 壞人不停咁欺負好人。資本主義的未來係一身屎! ----------------------------------------------------------- 有冇睇過董橋ge文章? 我睇過幾篇, 好鍾意。已經好耐冇見過咁靚 ge文筆。唔知佢有冇出書? 如果知道, 請將書名同出版社講我知。 請請。 uncle b

哈 如果刪去//吹水，看星，看山，看海，作詩// 就不止五個啦......

講吓笑 係五個加條男屍!

哈 睡覺怎會死？

哈 睡覺怎會死？

beauty i wanna ask what do you think about those girls who are ugly? as we all know, mr. li, like many others, prefers pretty girls.

成功••• 在 四 歲 時 ， 成 功 就 是 不 尿 在 褲 子 上 。 十 五 歲 時 ， 成 功 就 是 有 朋 友 圍 繞 。 二 十 歲 時 ， 成 功 就 是 擁 有 性 生 活 。 三 十 歲 時 ， 成 功 就 是 賺 大 錢 。 六 十 歲 時 ， 成 功 就 是 擁 有 性 生 活 。 七 十 歲 時 ， 成 功 就 是 有 朋 友 圍 繞 。 八 十 歲 時 ， 成 功 就 是 不 尿 在 褲 子 上 。

其實吳蘭露先生是一位男性！

這樣殘酷的題目不談也罷!

大島先生及fai 美貌絕不是一切!

//:其實吳蘭露先生是一位男性！ :// 而康慈小姐就係一位女性！

美是一種感覺 在我眼中，有些美人，不過是一個內裏壞透了的橙。 反之，一些不美的人，相處久了，在我眼中，愈來愈美。 美也有形而上和形而下的，哈..... 我兩者皆想取！

真的笑了出來 吳蘭露的笑話抵死。明月的笑話好聰慧。 謝。

呢句好正...... 「美也有形而上和形而下的」

而康慈喜愛Ｄ多嘴小姐，就係一位女性主意者！

默然 黛玉,你死後往那裏去?石頭為你引路!

原來多嘴係中性！不過佢中意左康慈，因為康慈出版左李生送比佢本算命 傑 作

genius 你寫詩，美就是美嘛，看得太深入，太了解，就不是一首美的詩啦！ fai．不過香港街上好似多左好多靚女！

對 美感的層次是要心領神會。

都唔知真定假ge寶哥哥 我死左後咪番我個寂寞林做世外仙株law!

難道,你忘了... 寶哥哥是姓"賈"的!無論前世今世來世都係石頭。

寶變為石? 有d傷感, 講真

你地有冇人知道點解香蕉英文叫做Banana? 話說有一個小孩在街邊賣香蕉，有一洋人走過，不知為何物，小孩又不會說，就買了一根去試。剛巧小孩的母親出來見到，問孩子為什么只賣一根？小孩說因為他不會說英語，母親就拿起一隻香蕉，一路打小孩的頭一路罵： 笨呀哪！笨呀哪！

答 2003-01-19 03:18:56 嘅 磊落 >我D眼水標到而家< 你半夜 3 點幾都仲對住個芒，標眼水好正常，未必關我事。 答 2003-01-19 03:37:58 嘅 磊落 >鍾意講笑既女人多數胸大(反之不然)，你D笑話咁好笑，我估你< 我又唔怕老實話你知，我胸未至於大到行街睇唔到路。 答 2003-01-19 15:00:43 嘅 雙兒 >你d笑話點唻ka?自己唸ka?< 部份。部份係唔知幾時見過，對個 gag 有印象，憑記憶再加鹽加醋用豆粉水打個獻，成。Serve hot. 答 2003-01-19 15:35:32 嘅 明月 >“雞同吳蘭露一整睬過你”等我笑左成晚< 呢句唔係我貼。我都想知邊個咁抵死。 答無！時無刻 無處不！在嘅！康慈！ >其實吳蘭露先生是一位男性！< 或者銀河！系裏面真係有！位先生叫吳蘭露！

美 美 向上望, 只見天地之美 向下望, 見眾生之美 左右望, 甚麼都不美, 閉上眼睛, 甚麼都是美.

地深吸力 吳蘭露，唔係人人朝九晚五架，夜晚三點我係剛上班。至於標眼水0既原因，我清楚過你，你咪叻唔切。同時你亦唔駛咁謙，你行路冇比個胸遮住，唔代表你個胸細，可能係因為地深吸力，dum。

咁簡單 1+1= 11

關於眼水 咁你保重。 關於胸 我已經講夠。希望唔需要繼續聽/睇。

Size 多謝問候，唔好發嬲，女仔開心笑先至靚架。你唔鍾意講你個胸，咁就唔講啦。不過我都係回應你，係你自己講size先架喎。D女仔就係咁，自己講就得，到人地講就唔得。唉，真係好難理解你地D心理。

你斗膽請假之日，就係你被炒魷之時。 小王：老闆，我想請一日假。 老闆：你想請一日假？咩話？ 一年裏面有 365 日你可以做嘢。 一年 52 個星期，你己經每個星期休息 2 日，剩低 261 日做嘢。 你每日有 16 個鐘頭唔係做嘢，冇咗 170 日，剩低 91 日。 每朝早你用 30 分鐘飲咖啡，加起嚟每年 23 日，剩低 68 日。 每日下晝你用 1 個鐘頭食飯，又用咗 46 日，仲有 22 日。 通常你每年請 2 日病假，你嘅實際工作日數得 20 日。 每年有 5 個公眾假期都唔駛你返工，你只係做 15 日。 每年公司仲要豪 14 日 Annual Leave 俾你，計落你得 1 日係真係做嘢。 你頭先想同我講咩話？ 小王：…冇，我頭先想問你仲有冇其他嘢吩咐，冇嘅話我返出去做嘢…… 呢個故事教訓我地： 語理分析思考藝術數理刀思方劍各樣那樣……並不適用於老闆同打工仔之間形而上下左右嘅關係裏面。

人世何短暫 . 承蒙君厚待. 來生若為人.定與君相逢 神英侍者 你為何沈默?

借問明月 杯，悅目堪賞 酒，芬芳待嘗 醉人的是？

林妹妹,如果愛妳是錯,我不要對.

沈默 因為天地悠悠,命運不可改變。木石無緣,金玉錯配。 !

// 木石無緣,金玉錯配。// 對呀！ 一木和藥石無緣， kam 與如玉是錯配。

2003年第二單撮合事件 康慈： //而康慈喜愛Ｄ多嘴小姐，就係一位女性主意者！// 多嘴：// 原來多嘴係中性！不過佢中意左康慈，因為康慈出版左李生送比佢本算命 傑 作 // v(^+++++^)v 由十三點做媒人！ 康慈卒之成功 la ！

唔同命 吳蘭路： 你咁識計數，唔該你同我計o下李天命老師一世o既工作時數有幾多(佢一個星期平均講三小時)？死未！

你認為李天命最適合做金庸筆下武俠世界哪位角色? 你認為李天命最適合做金庸筆下武俠世界哪位角色?

岳不群

頭腦機靈 黃蓉

黃蓉 我都係咁唸, 但....最好唔使咁"俏".... 如果唔係...

東方不敗

同想 我諗李天命最鍾意做韋小寶，點解？明la你o地！

磊落 我和genius等人與吳蘭露行過山,由於地深吸力(地心引力),她行得並不輕鬆.不信你問問genius.

換一個問題 你認為金庸最適合做李天命筆下所批判的哪類文人?

不過 吳蘭露從來都唔攔路.

張海澎 俾我見到你我唔打你一身我唔姓唔。

嘩,同心你真係了解李天命！ //:我諗李天命最鍾意做韋小寶，點解？明la你o地！ :// 哈哈李天命你有徒如此,果然係叻過舊屎！

段公子 玩世不恭！

絕對同意！ 韋小寶，絕對同意！ 看李博士給genius的留言，可見端倪。

酒不醉人人自醉 醉人的是？自造的氛圍。

嘿 佢就想,邊個男性唔想做韋小寶呀?

雙兒 你呷醋?

咁不如做小田田 又玩世不恭，又出塵脫俗

一比幾 一個的價值如果比幾個價值高 我會算一個，相信李生也是 只是他找到而我未。

?? 邊個叫小田田?

田伯光是也

唔係金庸筆下得唔得？ 如果得，好似小魚兒最似。 又聰明，又好有自己一套。 最緊要係小魚兒被蘇櫻「收服」，李天命就被徐芷儀收服。

甘點解唔話佢似郭靖？郭靖有九陰真經，李天命有九一“真經”。只不過郭靖十下十下,李天命精零醒目！

事實係我幾乎死喺山邊……我都話行吓家樂徑咪算囉……再係咁唔係行山，係你地上山拜我。 回 唔欄路 我冇姓唔好耐。

散打若干 聖嘉誠學校畢業典禮，校長宣布全年級第一名嘅學生小王上台領獎，但係連續叫咗幾聲之後，小王先慢慢走上台。 後來老張忍唔住問小王：做乜嘢？係咪唔舒服？定係頭先聽唔清楚？ 小王：唔係，我係驚其他同學聽唔清楚。 Testing：新搬嚟個隔離屋好乞人憎，擒晚三更半夜，竟然走嚟猛㩒我屋企門鐘！ Genius：咁變態？你直頭可以報警喎。 Testing：我先冇佢咁得閒，我第日要上台表演，所以我決定繼續練熟啲小喇叭，唔理佢。 一名神父喺返教會嘅途中，不幸地遇上交通意外，同個巴士司機同時死亡。神父被分派去地獄，心諗一定係全能嘅 x 有心要佢去地獄打救嗰班罪人。 殊不知神父發現個巴士司機竟然被分派去天堂……於是決定同聖澤楷理論…… 神父：有冇搞錯，我一心一意為大家傳道就要落地獄，點解個巴士司機手車咁差累死人就可以上天堂？ 聖澤楷：因為你喺教堂傳道嘅時候，個個都釣魚；但係個巴士司機揸車嘅時候，就個個乘客都誠心祈禱。我地唔升佢，升邊個？

唔肯過你 張海澎： 你唔係識舉重o既咩，點解要吳蘭路行得咁辛苦呀，佢有乜三長兩短，我第一個唔肯過你呀！

讚美 張海澎： 我有個問題想向你請教。點解我地讚D女仔靚，佢地就笑逐顏開，但係讚佢地胸大，佢地就怒目相視。其實兩樣優點對麻甩佬黎講，都咁重要。而且個樣靚唔靚都重可能有D主觀，但個胸大唔大就絕對客觀。點解客觀既讚美反而唔受落呢？唔通個女仔美若天仙，但係身材似耶穌，咁都好？

磊落 你好淫, 好恐怖呀!

小花生 磊落有哪句可稱為"淫"呀, 請指出！ 他有什麼地方說得不對呢, 請舉証！

明月 呷醋?唔好玩啦,咁得閒咩 郭靖係咩都有,但就係豬d,唔似dr.lee ka

上主 救我!

小花生 唔好鬼理佢啦, 佢將麻甩佬"目及"女合理化 又將d唔尊重女性既"評頭論足"講女經當係俾女性既最高度讚美, 仲企圖迫女性同佢講衰野,仲要懶係義正詞嚴,哈,可惡耶!!!!!!!!

雙兒 冇錯! 我地走!

磊落 冇法啦, 佢地仲仃留o係十九世紀. 女性主義就係咁既啦, 一時一樣, 搖擺不定, 唔知想點. 所謂"女性思想解放", 得個講字. 男性遇上, 都係避之則吉.

一眾麻 x x //女性主義就係咁既啦, 一時一樣, 搖擺不定, 唔知想點.// 女性主義 四個字: 男女互重!

原來小花生話走未走 //互相尊重// 同意

無你咁淫 自己先淫，至會覺得人地淫。阿小花生你咁大反應，我睇你D思想好淫。

好少人肯承認自己淫架

兩者兼得 阿大丈夫，我根據非正式唔科學既統計調查發現，D女性主義者D思想好淫，個樣通常重好恐佈。

Explanations 十三點, your answer is very creative. I’m sure you will get the job. Just one suggestion: if the boss is a westerner, she may not be familiar with the Chinese numerals, so in that case, you may want to replace “二” with “II”. About the explanation of “1 + 1 = 2”, I don’t think that there is anything left to say. Once you have explained what those symbols and operators mean (which Dr. Lee did), then that 1 + 1 = 2 is pretty much “self-explanatory”. One may object that what Dr. Lee had done is just describing the same mathematical operation in another way, thus, not a genuine explanation. However, we should note that in many cases, particularly in science, different levels of explanation do count as explanations for each other. For example, one may ask why salt “disappears” in water. It’s because it dissolves in water. If we are asked to give further explanation, we may refer to the chemical structures of the salt and water molecules, their bondings, and the interactions among them. If asked further, we may go to the atomic or even subatomic level and describe the interactions of the basic forces. Would this chain end? Only if the “ultimate truth” is found (if there is one). But this process of questioning is very unlikely to end; it will continue for it is and will remain the motivation behind science and any other inquiries contributing to our understanding of the world. P.S. I don’t think that I will open another topic of discussion. Time is fleeting, leaving me behind.

時間 Faustus ：// Time is fleeting, leaving me behind. // 或者係「快活不知時日過」既另一版本！

我禽晚見到亞旺套劇入面有個中國籍男人電左髮和, 幾前衛呀!

試答磊落大丈夫 真理係： 女人唔鐘意。 完。

聊 Faustus ： // 十三點, your answer is very creative. I’m sure you will get the job. // 多謝你， Faustus。 不過唔知 A Qualified Accountant 個答案係唔係同佢個名既職業有關。 1 + 1 = 2 呢個答案好好，因為 sense and response 同 intuition 有陣時嚮做決策果陣都好重要。 我個答案唔係 2，遲 d 先貼個答案上黎。 話時話，阿 A Qualified Accountant，究竟 e 個問題有冇「參考答案」既呢？ 有就遲 d 擺上黎睇睇喎。

冇左你，我唔掂！ Faustus ： // Just one suggestion: if the boss is a westerner, she may not be familiar with the Chinese numerals, so in that case, you may want to replace “二” with “II”. // Fautus，爭 d 唔記得唔該曬你又一次幫我補漏啊！

老婆久休復出 老婆瘋狂 shopping，老張隨後，有點冷汗。 老張：老婆，陣間我唔埋單你就知味道…… 老婆：你想唔俾？返到屋企你就知味道…… 老張：你敢？今晚熄燈之後你就知味道…… 老婆：你試吓？聽朝瞓醒覺你就知味道…… 老婆小勝一局。技術擊倒。

蘭路 這個笑話真含蓄 但係 唔明喎

唔會張揚 雲起，你是男定女？我話你知含蓄的事。

抵得佢o丫 吳蘭路: 咁風騷o既，抖夠le咩？

我？風騷？抖夠？拗頭？

美女一號 你係男定女，含蓄之事男女有別？ 俾的貼士啦

雲起 你先告訴我是女還是男生，我才可以因材施教。

唉!畫公仔畫出腸 讚賞一女子樣子漂亮,令她想到愛情; 讚賞一女子胸部宏大,令她想到性愛。 大部份女子都是假正經,唔通佢哋只要愛情,唔要性愛? 勸喻世間麻甩佬:通往性愛之路由愛情鋪起!

試答磊落大丈夫 真理係： 女人鐘意胸大， 但唔鐘意俾人話胸大。 完。

美女一號 但係唔知乜水講過，有教無類喎 至於我是男生定係女生，我仲諗緊，未諗到。

雲起 露出馬腳乎，女子是也。

馬腳何其多 假作真時有還無

to the impaired //勸喻世間麻甩佬:通往性愛之路由愛情鋪起!// Comment: Super C*H*E*A*P! If you want a woman out of passion and desire, you want her out of passion and desire.Don't use LOVE as a means to this trivial end! Coward!

咁我又唔覺得真係 cheap 成咁，起碼都係由愛情開始。 總好過由風流開始，以花柳結束。 好得意，一講男人同女人就一定壁壘分明，無數講。 羊年祝大家 男的歡，女的愛。

你講真? 由愛情開始以性愛結束好? 性愛易求, 愛情難覓喎 咁..........都好?你講真?

中性 吳蘭露：// 好得意，一講男人同女人就一定壁壘分明，無數講。// 似我咁唔就係最好O羅！

分明係辦公時間吞泡 小花生 咁佢又冇話性係終點。好難話好定唔好，睇你要乜。唔到我地女人否認一樣嘢，大部份男人真係俾腎上腺支配。 十三點 實不相瞞，我覺得你唔係中性嘅亦男亦女，而係兩頭唔到岸嘅不男不女。見你平時貼文咁多喱呢囉㗎咩又仲要 kill 成咁又仲要死唔認係女人——假如你真係男人嘅話，我會為你感到遺憾。 我本身都唔鐘意話俾人知我嘅性別，喺呢個留言區度失手，真係要多謝張海澎。

其實 只係0仲意同d惡徒談情說性o者 咁都唔係個個女人都仲意俾人讚胸大ka啦,咁見人唔仲意仲要迫人講仲惡言相向咁,咁少器唔好叫自己做大丈夫啦。仲搬d咩q女性主義一時一樣出唻,關唔關事呀?

吳蘭露 又多左個唔勤力讀書既人！同 Faustus 一擔擔！ 你睇番我早期 d 貼文，冇 // 咁多喱呢囉㗎咩 //，後黎改下形象，變做中性。有時中間偏左，有時中間偏右。 我不嬲都冇講話係男定女，Faustus 講乜我忍佢，張海澎話我係女性我冇理佢；我仲話過見到 Faustus 就差唔多好似見到我。 你唔好將男或者女講野 stereotype ，乜你知道中性人講野係點o羊？唔該你頭腦開放下啦，大姐！

typo, revised version 只係唔仲意同d惡徒談情說性o者

露姐 / 露哥 我覺得： 吳蘭露的思想好成熟，常常處之泰然，氣定神閒，仲好幽默添！ 如果我好到你一半就好啦！

吳蘭露 我幾時中性，幾時變性，幾時左右不分，你唔好理咁多！ Faustus 自稱「小弟」，實情係點除左我知 Faustus 知之外，你地知o羊？

中性 (II) 講開又講，究竟「中性」應該係 亦男亦女， 抑或係 不男不女？

答 cute 到震嘅十三點 >乜你知道中性人講野係點o羊？唔該你頭腦開放下啦，大姐！< 我為人比較古板，唔知。你講嘢俾我嘅感覺係——佘詩曼話自己係男仔頭。喂，咁真係好中性…喎。既然你話你係中性人，願聞其詳。 >實情係點除左我知 Faustus 知之外，你地知o羊？< 唔知…喎。所以…呢，遺憾…囉。 如果個實情唔係佘詩曼扮男仔頭而係方中信扮美少女，一字記之曰：服。 Nothing personal, 你咁問，我咁答。假如有乜得罪，呢度有大把實牙實齒哥哥仔錫返，抱抱。

東邪最適合 東邪最適合 夠型!

奇, d男人突然間死曬? 吳蘭露 //咁佢又冇話性係終點。// 佢都講得好白, 愛情係手段, 性愛係目的, 你認為冇問題就是但, 但我依舊係 睇唔起佢 //好難話好定唔好，睇你要乜。// 我冇想點, 係想就想男女關係可以文明d, 坦白d, 廢話少d, 尊重多d啫! //唔到我地女人否認一樣嘢，大部份男人真係俾腎上腺支配。// 我唔覺得情慾有咩咁可恥咁唔單純, 同錢一樣, 有志氣咪用正途搵, 使唔使用愛情做借口搵食咁唔掂當呀? 一段關係可以有性冇愛, 有愛冇性, 有性有愛, 呢d係當事人ge事, 我係旁人唔會judge ********************************************** 雙兒 舉腳同意你所講ge野!

係喎 東邪,點解唸唔到呢,似黃蓉,不如話似亞老豆東邪仲好啦,係呀,真係超似。

吳蘭露 \\回 唔欄路 我冇姓唔好耐。\\ 我冇話你姓唔，我只係要打張海澎一身啫。

寫錯了自己的名字 係"攔"，唔係"欄"。

哈，可能男人好少見一堆女人隔網傾偈，驚一插咀又出事。 >愛情係手段, 性愛係目的< 我同你喺 interpret 佢嘅說話嘅時候已經有少少分岐，我並冇 get 到呢個意思。不過，假如呢個先係真正意思，我仲未有立場。我只能夠講到幾句廢話：有人係，有人唔係，願者上釣。我冇乜理據可以去 judge。

係呀,佢係呢道既行為重似東邪呀，係人都知道佢武功蓋世，不過就神龍見首不見尾，成日都唔見佢出現 0下！

愛情係手段, 金錢係目的

向媽咪爹地撒嬌 BB仔為買鐵甲萬能俠模型，要超合金的 BB女為買毛毛公仔，要最新款Barbie 唔好問我幾點 鈴鈴鈴鈴鈴鈴鈴鈴，上堂！

//:愛情係手段, 金錢係目的:// 嘩, 姑爺仔?

//:愛情係手段, 金錢係目的:// 係妄想自己係姑爺既仔

明月誤會了 係假如：B小姐

上堂未架？ 吳蘭露哥哥/弟弟/姐姐/妹妹(稱謂排名不分先後)： 果次行山係咪張海澎約我地果次呢？

更正 "例如"

東壁 //：更正：// 怪唔知我唔知你講乜，而家知la!

答 00:18 果次係咪即係 1月12號 嗰次？係嘅話，係。 不過我唔知原來張海澎有約你地，嗰日我見到 Testing, genius 同翔。

吳蘭露 請問佢地係唔係又cute又靚仔?

我係講「時間旅行」果次ja~

小花生， 你動左凡心呀？ 你唔係淨係想知道雲起係男定係女嗟咩?

明月 比你識穿tim, 真係冇面! 雲起我一向以為佢係男仔,依家原來係中性,但點解你地對我對佢個性別有迷惑呢件事咁有興趣?可唔可以話我知點解?

我想起一個人 叫儀琳 小花生仲記唔記得佢係邊個

東壁 無印象, 但有d心寒

?

嘩,小花生你重唔訓? 其實係我想知雲起係咪半男半女，借你過橋囉!

明月 我頭髮未乾

東壁 你想做令狐沖?

非也 只係覺得小花生有點似 不是嗎？

小花生而家知道儀琳係邊個未?你快d 鬧下東壁 la! 我訓啦. Goodnight!

東壁 我唔會改個咁正經ge名架!

唔通又係衰野!東壁我同你絕交!

喂,東壁，講埋呢句先訓！小花生話佢頭發未乾,等我想起儀琳 nei 係令狐沖被入面，令狐沖拉左岳靈珊巴頭發出黎個幕, 記唔記得？

我冇 我..............我.............我冇點睇過阿查生d野架 .................各位請見諒!

中性 (III) 吳蘭露： // 實不相瞞，我覺得你唔係中性嘅亦男亦女，而係兩頭唔到岸嘅不男不女。// 亦男亦女係陰陽人，不男不女先係中性人，另一種性別既人。既然你話我係「不男不女」，「兩頭唔到岸」，即係承認我係中性人，明白中性人係點，咁仲駛乜問 // 既然你話你係中性人，願聞其詳。//？ 大佬，你自己話 // 唔到我地女人否認一樣嘢，大部份男人真係俾腎上腺支配。// 就 OK， 我講自己係中性，得唔得？ 十三點嚮 e 度再同你講多次 --- 我不嬲冇話過自己係男定女！

OK OK，你嬴。

千萬個可能性... 十三點,你由邊個星球來架?我就係x年前從獵戶座α星來嘅。

答小花生 Testing 夠甜 Genius 夠妙 老張夠嬌 翔仔夠俏

難得一見 吳蘭路 咁豈唔係全部la型？

致 impaired, coward and SUPER CHEAP 的小花生 你的罵功果然同姣功一樣厲害!可惜鬧人唔用腦,淨係識係度發癲,人生攻擊,講埋D唔相干嘅野。 // Don't use LOVE as a means to this trivial end! Coward!// 1.請問如何由”通往性愛之路由愛情鋪起!”這句話推出//愛情係手段, 性愛係目的//?如果有人話通往地獄之路是由善意鋪起的 , 那麼等於善意係手段, 地獄係目的嗎? 唔該你用下腦啦!唔好淨係識做價值判斷! 2.性愛是trivial?一點價值也沒有?那麼世界上為何有因性的問題而離婚的夫婦?我睇trivial是小花生吧! 3.Coward! Coward! Coward!典型的人生攻擊!但我唔怪你,因為我對思想瀛弱之輩,富有同情心。

新人類 火藥味咁重 geh ？ 都話左架啦！ 似我唔係好o羅！ 自給自足 ga！ 擁有 200 % 既愛，愛人如己播！ 手段同目的，難分難解呀！ 幾 ~ 咁融和呀！

十三點 你俾人論盡十三點後,先至變成目前形態嗎?李生真係功德無量!最新一點如何產生?

秋生 o羊 ~ 形態呀？ 你講清楚 d 好！ 唔係我唔識答架！ // 最新一點如何產生? // 而家又到左補充能量既時間勒， 一陣間先同你傾計，好唔好呀？

功德 秋生： // 李生真係功德無量! // 係呀！阿李天命而家深居簡出，要多 d 唸《心經》 ah ！ 康慈一出，誰與爭鋒？

通識教育，原文照錄（括號之內，純粹多手） A sneeze can travel as fast as 100 miles per hour. It's impossible to sneeze and to keep ones eye's open at the same time. (Try!) Most lipsticks contain fish scales. (That's why some kisses are much yummy... provided you like seafood.) The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing. (Observe the women in the jewelry shop) Winking at women, even to express friendship, is considered bad manners in Australia. (It's considered bad taste in Hongkong, I guess) The United States Postal Service assures its customers that they will not get fat licking stamps. There is no more than one-tenth of a calorie's worth of glue on every stamp. (But they've forgotten the envelopes!) Arachibutyrophobia is fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. (Leetienmingphobia is fear of being surrounded by a group of Dr.Lee-addict.) It takes 17 muscles to smile and 42 to frown. (You know what? I look much younger than I am.) You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. At worst, you would lose consciousness and the lungs would start to breath automatically. (Still worth a try... when you're mad with your boy.) The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without breaking. If it is less elastic, it is not healthy. (So if it's too elastic, it's too healthy?) Laughing is aerobic. It provides a workout for the diaphragm and increases the body's ability to use oxygen. (Great excuse not to exercise.) A hippopotamus can run faster than a man. (How about woman?)

今日 唔好意思, 今日心情大好, 比人罵個狗血淋頭都仲識笑, 所以秋生哥, 你話點就點, 你又cute又靚仔, 祝你要性有性, 要愛有愛 十三點, 我決定向你學習, 自己同自己戀愛, 嬉戲, 嗌文同打交, 做個200%ge新人類 吳蘭露, 由你提供ge資料可以推斷其中兩位靚仔ge髮型同和尚差唔多, 其中至少一人唔食m記, 如果唔係就當我冇講過野啦!

The Postmodern Shit：My Version of Hamlet

>其中兩位靚仔ge髮型同和尚差唔多< 首先我要假設四位都係靚仔……但都只係一個似和尚。 >其中至少一人唔食m記< 唔知，未同佢地食過。

笑笑 why all of a sudden d 網友 get interested in only sex and shit?

同宗 Benson、十三點、吳蘭露、李天命 有乜相同？ 全部都係 ……

姓李?

無得頂 //其中兩位靚仔ge髮型同和尚差唔多// 和尚同尼姑絕配!

快活 快﹐因為浮生夢幻 活﹐因為感受真切 快活﹐所以歲月匆匆﹐不知時日過

全部都係…… 自以為 sit and think 但其實 shit and stink ？ （加個問號比較穩陣）

箭與靶 Faustus ，你今日 short 左啊？ 做乜又亂講話： // 快﹐因為浮生夢幻 活﹐因為感受真切 快活﹐所以歲月匆匆﹐不知時日過 // 我又學下尤尤放飛箭先！ 仲唔快 d 諗下自己講野有冇矛盾！ 我嚮度等你呀！ 唔駛驚我架，你！ 我不嬲都好忍你既，你知架 la！

謝謝 謝謝小花生的寬宏大量,學佛之人不要口出妄言。請小花生回收閣下製造的垃圾:impaired, coward, Super *C*H*E*A*P*, trivial。我回收自己的!

係…… 女生，或 女人形，或 女生男相，或 無女不歡，或 女生外向，或 ......

秋生 okay, deal!

李生 請問你係唔係禪密雙修?

浮生 Haha, life is full of contradictions (or at least, contradicting feelings). So I’m not going to defend what I said about life or to rationalize those contradictions. What I did was just to observe and describe. 浮､生

答秋生 // 最新一點如何產生? // 由個心

回數學狂 // 十三點,你由邊個星球來架? // 掉落離那粒星！

to be or not to be To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The pangs of despised love, the law's delay, The insolence of office and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscover'd country from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all; And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action.--Soft you now! The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins remember'd. ........................Hamlet be all my sins remembered......

vit 原來你小息嘅時喉會咁正經。 我細嗰小息嘅時候最嚴肅最入流嘅活動都只係猜皇帝。

小息時間 To joke,or not to joke: that is the question.

To joke, or not to joke, this question is a joke. Joke of course!

逃避 Faustus！

Joke To break, or not to break: that is the question.

正經 回 吳蘭露 小姐: vit 總有一個問題 : to 正經 or not to 正經 ................................ ?..............................?

十三點講粗口 回數學狂 // 十三點,你由邊個星球來架? // 掉落離那粒星！ 「掉」落離「那」粒「星」！

獨孤求敗可以嗎?

三字經 教不嚴,Faustus之惰

講多次都唔怕 掉那星！ Haha，每隻字都冇粗呀！

拍拍手 十三點好野!

三字經 講多次　都唔怕 十三點：掉那星！ Hahaha　每隻字　都冇粗！

沒有破綻的李天命 李天命博士說自己自有記憶以來在說話方面沒有破綻,若果你找到他的破綻是你有問題,這個講法真是李天命博士講的嗎? 他還和學生說你找到他的說話方面破綻,學期尾給你一個A,大家有甚麼看法?

信？ // 李天命博士說自己自有記憶以來在說話方面沒有破綻, // 咁佢有冇話自有記憶以離乜都記得曬 ah ？ 其實呢，要鋤上面果句話仲有大把野可以鋤架，不過今日已經做野做到死，返屋企又要刨書，所以要休息下。 聽朝我唔出聲，即係半死。 正午唔見我，可能 ...... 係咁先，拜拜！

請自重 當你有心去講0既時候, 那已經是粗口了, 不防問問你父母. 請大家善用這網頁!

That is vit's problem: To ................................ or not to ................................

That is 十三點's problem: To be female, or not to be female.

The answer to 1+1 =? i) If you answer is 1+1=2, you are correct, but you won't get the job as a senior executive. You might get a job as an accountant. ii) if your answer is 3 or even 4, then you understand synergy for merger and acquisition which is the strategy for growth for most multi-national companies these days. iii) if your answer is 1+1 = what the CEO has in mind, then you are the kind of aggressive people who are willing to do everything to meet the growth target set by the CEO. These people are well sought after by companies like Enron and Worldcom which now run into bankcrupcy. If you get answer as ii or iii,and also the first question right, you possess the mentality and aptitude to be a senior executive. You are invited to participate in a simple language test tomorrow to ensure you possess the language ability to qualify for this job.( A senior execuitve has to write impressive business proposals and even annual report to shareholders, that's why he/she must be able to write the impossible) Enroll now!

十三點這顆小行星目前所面對的問題： To be 掉, or not to be 掉.

張海澎 你為何時常找我呀?

That is 小花生's problem: To be trivial, or not to be trivial, when she deal with 秋生.

李天命你壞啦.哈！

That is 鹹豬手's problem: To 出手, or not to 出手. // 我終是忍不了手 //

That is 張海澎 's problem: 我現在戰戰兢兢地等待小花生的回應,不知她會不會罵我"super CHEAP".面對小花生,我應該怎樣? To be coward, or not to be coward.

That is 唔攔路 's problem: 張海澎, 俾我見到你唔 to beat, or not to beat 你一身我唔姓唔.

to死or not to 死, that"s NOT 張海澎"s problem 張海澎, 你今次死梗 明知我唔係人咁品 死前甜品: 張海澎, 你真係又cute又靚仔 (代joejones發言) 祝你做鬼也風流!

原來得個"講"! 十三點, 原來得個"講"!

搞乜呢度突然間好似放煙花咁熱鬧 三字經 大戰 假正經 to sick, or not to sick? 花生 大戰 秋生 to 色, or not to 色 ? 哈姆雷特 大戰 李門子弟 to 識, or not to 識 ?

死前甜品 能否要志蓮淨院的禪茶同素點心,外加一碟五香小花生?

通識教育大結局 If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it!) If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (Would you want to be a pig in your next life??) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmm.....:-) Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza everyday. (Great, now we will have pizza farmers wanting federal subsidies) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?) The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...? Did the government pay for this research??) A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. (Creepy!) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the...") Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (Still want to be a pig... quality over quantity!) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez!)

但東邪是不怕冷的。

張海澎 冇問題, 你點話點好!joejones 餵你! ^________^ : 睇你笑得幾開心

唔 可能東邪已果時經有得著天蠶衣。

在我被押去槍斃的途中 如同初生嬰兒被時間的奶頭擊穿 我本能地聞到了子彈的乳香

李天命先生這輩子第一個或第一次的破綻 就是小學時常作詩[低年班]！又自認NO.1！有日Ｄ高年班上前和李天命先生討論一些XXXX！後來李天命先生說了一句：[我從小便開始作詩！] PS.係李天命先生及他的多年同學講的！ 第二個或第二次的破綻，康慈有份加一腳的！想知嗎？第三個或第三次的破綻，康慈有份看！李天命的破綻其實是有很多的！過了這麼多年！[經驗的成長]要李天命先生今時今日說錯野，是需要他幾日無睡！才有這種機會！

那麼請問！第二腳或第二次的！破綻是什麼！吳蘭露是真的很XXXXX想聽！

在我被押去槍斃的途中 我只掛念著 奶樽

一本正經 宋朝時，凡做京官或鎮守邊疆的，均須學習外文，大文豪蘇氏三父子也不例外。 當「外語初班」行畢業典禮的時候，所有學生都須要經過抽樣接受「語文基準試」。 這天，大家的心情都很緊張。擔任主考的是王安石，因和蘇氏三父子素有過節，於是便只選擇他們發問：「What are your names ?」 蘇軾答道：「I am So Sick ！」 王安石心想：「身體不適也答得這麼迅速！雖是仇人，也應給他過關」 蘇轍也不假恩索，答道：「I am So Cheap ！」 王安石心想：「都算你坦白啦！Pass！ 」 蘇洵最後答道：「I am Susan ！ 」 王安石丈八金剛「．．．．．．．．．．．．．？」

比面吳蘭露的嘗面！ 古時的李天命先生很囍愛遲到[今天不知道]！也囍愛搭訕！及可以表現自己沒有破綻！[最度的自信及自大的表現] 有次眾人一同討論Ａ學科的話題！討論左成半粒鐘，李天命先生遲到地出現！聽眾人討論的內容！[那時眾人使用上次話題的一些內容，引入討論今次的Ａ學科來討論！]那時李天命先生聽了兩三個人的內容之後，他很得意地搭訕！ 呵！呵！呵！ 眾人及教授看到千載難逢好機會！ 眾人把握機會和李天命先生玩了一場一個小時捉本的遊戲！之後...[不用多說也知道]

哦！原來係！咁！

古時一星期有一次的討論會！ 當時囍愛使用上次話題的尾尾，來開今次的話題！因此新話題之初，和上一個話題是相通的！[李天命先生每次都遲到，所以不知道！]

悲劇中的悲劇 原來我本身就係一個笑話…… 噢~ 撈~

哈！哈！哈！哈！哈！哈！哈！哈！哈！哈！

走左佬！ //李天命： 若有劫匪對我說： 「要錢還是要命？」 我會說： 「I am 吳蘭露。」 讓他笑死為止。 （玩了大半天, 人生大樂境。 諸君請繼續, 我讀<<圓覺經>>。） 2003-01-23 00:10:00 //

Re : 悲劇中的悲劇 生命是悲壯劇 人是劇中小丑

職業小丑 人群中必須有小丑調和氣氛 假如你發覺自己係小丑 就要全心全力做職業的小丑 令所有人都得到歡樂 所以我經常說 康慈是職業小丑 a professional joker

！ Shit！Shit！

黃藥師個件天蠶衣叫軟蝟甲, 比左黃蓉著!

//所以我經常說// 你是誰？！ 口氣這麼大？！ 人微口氣大！！！！

李生個件天蠶衣叫雞仔嘜，李夫人買比佢著!

不小心又放口氣 我口氣大?何處口氣大了?要蝦兄用shit來形容?若口氣使你不安,真感抱歉,哈哈(不小心又放口氣)

好一個從沒出現的蝦公 我看你是泥鰍吧！只有泥鰍見到shit才會(shit!shit!)那麼興奮！ 改名又點，露真身啦！

咪扮野 你不是我老公,死衰公,咪扮蝦公,現出你的公公身

明月 哈哈哈哈, superb "worm" (佢地仲未比$我,我係唔會同佢地賣廣告既)係咪仲正d(本人好少著呢類保暖衣物)?好在而家d天蠶衣唔係全個武林先得一件,大家深夜打野唔使凍到頭赤赤。

快､活﹐快活 要活就不能逃避 但不逃避就會苦 逃與不逃﹐that is the question 逃與不逃之間 可以快活 注意是快活﹐不是快､活 //then you are the kind of aggressive people who are willing to do everything to meet the growth target set by the CEO. These people are well sought after by companies like Enron and Worldcom which now run into bankcrupcy.// That’s why I am not interested in applying for this kind of job. 十三點﹐are you interested?

天越: 職業小丑 康慈查實很囍歡做職業小丑！ 好像李生的講有很多的笑話， 大都是和康慈有關的！ 因此原因！ 康慈看到李生在此露面， 在此笑他笑到李生退休為止！

免 ( ) 金牌 由 2003-01-22 19:39:00 開始, vit 必定會 : 不必正經時就不正經 必須正經時就假正經 因為 vit 已有 免 ( ) 金牌 ..................................

//superb "worm"// ?? 超級虫??

vit，唔該啦！ 半死都要飛撲出黎！ vit 呀， 借個免 ( ) 金牌用下 lah！ 借啦！借啦！ 好唔好呀？

點石成金 吳蘭露那篇＜一本正經＞的笑話，好笑。不過，通版看過一次，就會明白真正好笑之處。

十三點﹐are you interested? Wa ~ Wa ~ Wa ~ ，十三點好開心快樂呀！ 全中 ah！ ===================== Faustus : // 回正題 : 1+1=2 // ===================== 十三點評： 2003-01-08 // Benson 呀， Jacky 呀，你地又為左 d 乜野原因話個 答案係 2 呢？我心目中果兩個答案都冇 2 架！ // // 不過我冇(話)阿 Faustus 錯呀！ 我今次既策略係要睇定形勢做人 ah ！ // 2003-01-16 // 我唔係話你個 1 + 1 = 2 答案錯播， 不過你個答案咁樣寫就可能好 d 勒！ ************ 1 + 1 = 二 ************ // // 但係點先至最o岩、最好、最正確呢？ 咁就要靠 intuition 嫁 lah！ 做高級行政人員，唔係時時話要靠其他人、其他料 ge， intuition 都好重要，要抓緊時機，福至心靈先至得架！ // 2003-01-21 // 1 + 1 = 2 呢個答案好好，因為 sense and response 同 intuition 有陣時嚮做決策果陣都好重要。 // ================= Faustus 啊： 應徵唔代表應聘，拍拖唔代表結婚。 呢個世界，你簡人，人簡你， 唔見得某 d 行業、某 d 職位就要避！ 你估果 d 個名好似好清高既行業，做野既人就一定清高既 leh o羊？ 同流合污，抑或清俗分流， 就真真係要睇個人性格、價值觀。 和光同塵，和而不同，實則好大學問黎架！ 「性格有雙重，意志貫始終」 就係我既自描！ 你同我係 twins 黎家 mah， 咁都仲要問人 geh ？ 你自己諗諗o刺！ Haha，快活呀！ =============== 題外話： ****** Faustus，你又認為乜野職業先o岩你呢？ 其他網友又有冇諗過，你而家做緊個行，果個職位係唔係配合到你 ge 要求呢又？唔係既話你又點做 ah ？ =============== A qualified accountant 呀，我掂唔掂 ah ？ 個英文基準試幾時考呢？ A – z 果 72 個英文字母我識曬架， 點舞都得！

Benson // 超級虫?? // 係某種蟲。 之前幾個留言已經有貼士。 代表好 warm 呀！

係 super warm 著了superwarm再著毛衣大衣羽絨的就會好暖的內衣，簡單來說，即係改了英文名的虧佬衫同虧佬褲． 千祈唔好買，superwarm個屁．

How can 13-Point be ever wrong? 13-Point (unfortunately, I haven't mastered the skill to type in Chinese yet) You are such a smart chemeleon who knows how to position in order to be always right. If only Enron and Worldcom had got you on board for advice, they would never had come into such a plight today. But like Faustus, you may have high virtue and choose to do something more meaningful to pursue in life. A qualified accountant is busy working out the CEO's preferred accounts for the year end before returning to Hong Kong for Chinese New Year. but hope to be able to spare some time later this afternoon to let you have the language test.

A qualified accountant 唔好趕呀！ 盤靚數需要好多時間架！ 我都要溫習下果 72 個英文字母至得家 mah！

借俾您啦! 十三點 見係您咋, 借俾您啦! 不過要紀得還o架! ................................. 唉, 無o左個 免 ( ) 金牌, 都唔知點o甘! 正經定唔正經好呢? ..................................

李天命的破綻 十三點: // How Deep Is Your Love // 李天命: //越俎代Faustus: As deep as your depth. // 批判: 沒有破綻的愛往往是膚淺的; 有破綻的愛才可能是深刻的. 沒有指出十三點的depth是哪一種depth, 這就是李天命的破綻.

令狐沖似嗎?

American in Mexico There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?' The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop." The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners." Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?"

Singaporean in Malaysia A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia ........ He was having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam. A local man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him & started a casual conversation. Malaysian: "You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?" Singaporean: "Of course." Malaysian: "We don't. In Malaysia, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them intocroissants & sell them across to Singapore." The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence. Malaysian: "Do you eat the jelly with the bread?" Singaporean: "Of course." Malaysian (chuckling): "We don't. In Malaysia, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds & other left-overs in a container, recycle them, transform them into jam ........ before we sell it across to Singapore." This time, the Singaporean retorted: "Do you have sex in Malaysia?" Malaysian: "Why, of course we do" Singaporean: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" Malaysian: "We throw them away, of course." Singaporean: "We don't. In Singapore, the government secretly put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum & sell them across to Malaysia ........ & that's the real reason we ban the chewing of gums." - Just a joke, no offense to any our Singaporean or Malaysian friends. -

Drinks & Personalities Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows exactly what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her,> if she is interested, she'll send YOU a drink. Drink: Wine - (does not include White Zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles. Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends. Drink: White Zinfandel Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is.... this should be an easy target. Drink: Shots Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk...... and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad! Then there is the MALE addendum. The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut: Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid. Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid. Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid. Whiskey: He doesn't give a hoot about anything but getting laid. Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress. White Zinfandel: He's gay.

to 張海澎 有 d 問題係遮掩勝過赤裸， 有 d 回應係膚淺好過深邃。 破綻有利於偷窺， 批判無助於領會！

令孤沖唔多打得個播！

贈十三點 山不在高, 有仙則名; 水不在深, 有龍則靈.

to vit // 十三點 見係您咋, 借俾您啦! 不過要紀得還o架! // 就係知你好人，所以先問你借乍！ 有借有還上等人。 你唔好唔等我呀，記住！

俾：張海澎 如願！

仙人指路 張仙人現住在聖母雪峰乎?龍神如何探知水之深淺? 張仙人近來必為某些問題而煩惱,That is the question. 十三點能為仙人解盡百般愁,讓仙人衝上雲霄!

陳家洛嗎?

做西方劍客也可以!!!

俺認為李天命最適合做岳不群

武修文

無線會播放"笑傲江湖", 找李天命做主角好嗎?

周伯通呢 係老左D囉……

康慈是桃谷六仙

楊過好似李天命 兩鬢花白

睇你亂估. 證明你冇見過李天命啦.

康慈認為李天命最適合做[東方不敗]！ 主要原因：是其個人風格及做人的意志力或精神層面！兩者都很像！[一個破舊立新！一個自官練功！]

或者... 金毛獅王謝遜? 文武全才, 蓋冠當世 但性格有點偏激, 常指天罵神閙佛, 批儒批孔 最後受佛家感化, 成一代禪師?

你們中那些是主修哲學的?? plse leave some words here if u are studying philosophy or majoy in philosophy before.

睇下招聘咩職位 數學家 = 2 電腦工程師 = 10 資料統計員 = 1.999999999999 會計師 = Bill Gate 話幾多米幾多囉 :)